When the Past becomes the Present

The most interesting thing happened to me yesterday. My ex - let's call him Mario - was at my haunt. Mario and I went our separate ways a couple weeks less than ten years ago. Blog entry on how that makes me feel old to come, I'm sure.

To put it more accurately, I ripped Mario's heart out of his chest, jumped on it, chewed on it & spit it out 10 years ago. To this day I feel badly about how he reacted. It had to be done, but perhaps with more tact.

It was our first relationship of that persuasion for both of us. Or is it each of us? In any event, it was a good run - 3 years or something like that.

Until yesterday we had not had a face-to-face conversation - or any for that matter - since the break-up. It was good to talk to him. Once I could finally look him in the face.

See, my wisdom tells me that memories of good things are stronger than bad things with time. Ten years is a long time ago, even if it's only a third the time 10 years was ten years ago.

Think about it.

Next: The single most important thing in a relationship is to nurture it. When all is said and done, the most important thing is that you learned a thing or two as a result of the relationship. That you grew.

Well my friends, this particular circumstance was the trigger for a great deal of personal growth. The enabler were the learnings I extracted from the relationship.

So now that I've had this damned fine reality check, where am I left? Seriously, where the hell am I? The door has opened for closure. What form should it take?

I feel like I'm standing at the dock in the heat. I hold a Passport in each hand. I look at one, and I start bitching at how long I've been waiting, how embarrassing it is to be repping the country. It's so glum, I fail to recognise the free escape this passport will give me.

I put the other passport in my pocket. It gives me the right to travel to this dock, and to have my feet where I stand. It's served its purpose for now, though. The land I stand on is the land I'm trying to get the fuck away from.

In short, I'm feeling overstimulated with a good dose of irony.

Categories: Relationships, Life