The weekly flyers

Several years ago, I started receiving a plastic bag full of flyers, left conveniently hanging on my door knob every Friday or Saturday.

Now, I'm not a flyer kind of guy. And the local newspaper that is supposed to be in the bag never is. When I'm away for the weekend, everyone knows it from the simple fact the bag is hanging there. I typically end up throwing the works out in the garbage can as I leave my building.

Many moons ago, I bought and affixed a sign to my door asking not to leave junk mail. This addressed the problem probably only half the time.

As luck would have it, a few weeks ago I was leaving my apartment to see a handsome young man coming out of the elevator with a buggy of these stupid bags. He held the elevator for me.

"Do you want to come in for a couple of drinks?" I asked in my mind.

"I live in that apartment right there," I actually said.
"Yeah"
"I'm not sure how much you get to deliver that stupid bag for me each week. Here's ten bucks not to."
"Cool, thanks. No problem"

There hasn't been a flyer hanging off my door knob ever since.

And sadly, no sign of the strapping young man either.

Categories: Neighbourhood

Lots of Vision

If you are more hip than me (and the odds have it you are), you've probably heard of Twitter. The concept is to leave one line descriptions of what you are currently doing. I simply don't get it. What i get less is Twittervision. It provides a geographic location of where these losers are that are participating in Twitter.

Well, the vision guy has come up with something that even I think is cool. flickrvision. Same concept, except it shows pictures recently uploaded to flickr. Kinda of like watching pictures being developed in the window of Japan Camera.

Finally, for a glance of what's going on in the news, this is a good cloud.

Categories: Links

Burger King

I'm on Duty at work this week. This means I cover off another part of the operation on evenings and on Saturday. I'm on call until Monday. Now, as you know I deal with boxes. This part of the operation deals with trucks and ladders. It's really sexy actually.

As much as I know and love boxes, I don't know the first friggn' thing about trucks and ladders.

Shit, my life in the form of a paradox.

In any event, the week totally kills me because of the hours and the workload. Plus I don't have the two fundamental clicks needed to make a clue when it comes to anything related to anything I'm supposedly managing.

They give me a Blackberry. It's an amazing invention! Every time it vibrates, I'm invited down a path to Hell.

It means either:

a) I have received an e-mail that conveys a message that even though it makes sense, I have no fucking idea what it means, much less know what I should do about it.

b) It is someone I don't know calling. (In these cases I just let it go to voicemail, to give me time to figure out what the hell to do about what they want)

I don't know why people actually like carrying them. Losers.

And then there are the real people. I have no clue what their names are, or what they do. Occasionally they actually come to me and ask me questions. It usually goes like this:

"Are you Ian?"
"Yes."
"There's this job and it was gonna be Xsomething as Xother. But now it's LTR."
"And?"
"Well, what should I do?"
"What do you think you should do?"
"Um, I was thinking of ping on it, but I know it is dark out."
"Do you think p-ing on it is the smart thing to do?"
"I think so."
"You're probably right. Go ahead."

I usually get bitchy after only a couple days of this. Really bitchy. Even Mookie is avoiding me at this point.

The only thing that got me through to the end of the shift today was the knowledge that today is Whopper Wednesday. The bus in front of work conveniently stops in front of a Burger King. Ian deserves a break today! (get it?)

It was a memorable experience. I remember all two things the guy behind the counter said to me. "Next" and "Three seventy-nine."

I stewed in my own surly shit on the subway trip home. Why are these fools not given basic customer service skills? Is it this bad at McDonald's? No, Burger King is worse. By the time I was home firing up the Information Superhighway, I had already drafted in my mind a witty yet honest dispatch for the King.

Technology has evolved to the point a hand held device can cause me instant chaos (and can also tell me what time the LCBO closes while I'm on the bus).

Technology has not however evolved to the point where Burger King provides an electronic means of providing them with feedback (unless you call the 800 number from your cellphone, I suppose).
So no instant gratification for Ian today. You may be happy to know you can apply for a job from their website, right to the store location. You may be equally happy to know that after much pondering, I decided not to hit the 'submit' button.

Monday will come soon enough.

Categories: Work, Life, Rant

The Smoke Detector

With every Spring comes the annual fire alarm testing. The Landlord has been good at upgrading the building along with new Fire Code requirements over the years. So for several years they have been inspecting and replacing the smoke detector battery on the day they test the fire alarm. I replace it every fall, but ended up replacing it again with the early Daylight Savings Time for some reason.

Fire Alarm Day came last week. As has been the routine for several years I pulled their smoke detector from the closet, dusted it off, and left it on the table near the door for them to hopefully haul off.

I had replaced it - all by myself - because it was getting old and I preferred the other type. For $20 I didn't feel like filling out a work order to get a new one, which may still have been the other type. (If you don't know what I mean about "types," I suggest you give this a read.)

I worked from home as originally planned on Fire Alarm Day to better take care of a couple errands mid-day. As luck would have it, the Super knocked on the door when I was in the midst of a conference call.

I quickly answered the door. The super grumbles, and in comes some kid with a step ladder and battery. As he attempts to replace the battery, he pulls the smoke detector out of the ceiling. He tells me they need to remount it, and leaves into the hall. The Super at this point has already moved on to the next apartment.

"Ian? Do you agree?"
I hear coming out of the speaker of my Vista 350.
Off I was back to the phone, contemplating my response.
Given the type of meeting this was, I quickly dismissed my "I'm not sure I've fully wrapped my head around this one. Could you restate the question?" tactic, and deployed, "I kind of agree, yes. I'm so close to being bought in I have my wallet in my hand." It worked.

That was the last I saw of my smoke detector. And my battery. And my screw, for that matter. I figured they'd be back by 5. Then I figured the Super would consider it an 'emergency' and just come in on Tuesday. I thought of calling on Wednesday, but the Super gets every other Wednesday off, and I never know which it is.

How ironic that in an effort of the Landlord being in compliance with Fire Code, I end up without a working smoke detector.

The irony having worn off, I bought and installed a new one this evening. For 12 bucks it's done. It doesn't make sense to me to pursue what I'm out. After all, if I called today and died in a fire tonight, I'm not going to see any of the settlement.

I may however sell their smoke detector on ebay.

Categories: Neighbourhood, Life