As you know, I've been on a stint for the last couple years and have been working for the same company for nearly six. They recently announced, after a year of being burdened with hammering our a buy-out, to expect a cut of 15% of managers. I ended up being one of them.
Which sux.
I have fortunately been through this before. Fortunate in that I know what to emotionally expect not only from myself but from others as well. Hence I am familiar with the suckiness of the situation - a situation one never grows used to. many find transitions to be difficult. A job transition is near the top of the list. Forty hours a week being being pulled from under your feet - the differing levels of stability that goes with it - really fux with one's ego.
It's been two weeks. My mind continues to work in overdrive. The thoughts - the things I dwell on - change from day to day and sometimes minute to minute. Those thoughts run the gamut. Stress, relief, sadness, anger, dread. Everything. It is exceedingly difficult for one to escape this thoughts. It keeps licensed establishments in business during the afternoon for sure.
One of the biggest voids is the removal of regular interaction with people. A good chunk of my friend base (and most people I suppose) were acquired through work. Some I won't miss to be sure and I have already forgotten them. Others I miss dearly. These friendships are in fact forever changed. Maintaining these relationships is suddenly a formidable task.
I met up with a number of my peer friends last week. It is very similar to going to one's own funeral. In situations like these I end up having to manage my friends. Half of them tell you everything will be OK. the other half need reassurance. I am fortunate to have the number and diversity within my friend base. (I in fact have a draft post kicking around where I discuss my fortunes from a friend perspective. Perhaps now I'll have time to finish it off).
As dirty as it sounds, I need to manage my friend Rolodex more than ever. The ones I can utilise for support, I will. They will not be allowed out of my sight. Those with a good network will also be kept close. Some I will inevitably let drift away. Our paths perhaps will cross again.
So two weeks in, the initial shock has been replaced with a lingering dread.
And so begins a new phase in my life.
Categories: Friends, Life, Work
Random thoughts from a cat servant.
