Summer is over.

I was at the Haunt on Sunday when it happened. With every Labour Day weekend comes that familiar dread that Summer is over. To this day - nearly a couple decades out of High School - I feel the need to run out and buy a pair of cords just before Labour Day.

So back at work today, I waited for that sign that school is back. I left my apartment and confronted a kid obstacle course. Not enough.

The bus was late and carried more than usual. But I got a seat, and traffic flowed. Not enough.

My boss is back from vacation. Obviously not enough.

In my mailbox are McDonald's coupons.

Bingo!

I have come to realise that McDonald's spits out coupons every September. It's as if They realise it's a new year, and a new time to instill new habits. They're good deals. Things like "Buy a thousand calories in food and we'll give you another 750 for free."

The coupon brochure is a marketing charm. A picture of a hand holding a Big Mac, with "$40 of coupons in the palm of your hand."

This of course reminds me of my Buddy from ago who had just immigrated from South Africa. A country that at the time did not have a McDonald's, but did have magazines with Big Mac ads.



He of course made his way early on to an outlet to have one of them there impressive Big Macs.

According to him, he opened the container and upon seeing its contents exclaimed, "What the fuck is this?" We never ate at McDonald's the whole time we hung out. I doubt he has to this day. For the Big Mac is not big.

He would appreciate these coupons. And the size of the hand holding the Big Mac. That guy's fingers are longer than some guys' dicks.

By the way, have you ever noticed how Ad Burgers at McDonald's always have lettuce leaves, yet they only serve shredded lettuce on the real thing?

Categories: Friends, Life

Police Blotter

As just posted, I have been surfing the RCMP call reports as published in each issue of the local paper.

I present you with some of my favourites:

• Police were called to report a man walking drunk along Commercial St. in New Minas.
• At 3:04 a.m. police were called to report horses walking single file down the middle of the main road into Canning. Upon arrival, police ensured the horses were walking on the correct side of the street.
• Someone spraypainted a van in Aylesford and then put brown sugar in the gas tank.
• A wheelbarrow was stolen in Lockhartville.
• A driver left a gas station on Aldershot Rd. in north Kentville without paying for his gas at 12:44 p.m. The man later returned to the gas station and paid for the $10 worth of fuel.
• A theft of beer was reported at 12:04 a.m. last Wednesday when a man left Dooley’s in Berwick with an open beer in his pocket. When confronted, the man denied the bottle’s existence.
• There were five domestic incidents, including a woman who slapped her ex-husband in the testicles. The man did not wish to press charges and refused medical attention.
• A Berwick resident complained of wiper blades disappearing of his vehicle and was assured it was ravens.
• An on-going problem with youth not wearing helmets at the skate park in New Minas was received.
• A Sunnyside Road resident of Greenwich reported finding a bottle of urine in his mailbox.
• An RCMP cruiser was spray painted in Berwick and various other cases of vandalism were noted.
• A prom party in Harbourville attracted between 300 and 400 youth. The host called police about 11:30 p.m. fearing a fight. Officers attended, but refused to “babysit the event” and warned those attending they would be on the lookout for impaired drivers.At 8:32 a.m., police were called back to the party in Harbourville, where a young man was smashing himself on the head with beer bottles. He was arrested since he could not be calmed down.
• At 12:51 a.m. June 16, a Coldbrook resident reported drunken neighbours stealing wood for a bonfire.
• “Roy the koi” was reported stolen from the pond at the Country Store in Coldbrook.
• A man who got the boot from a liquor establishment in Greenwood fell and hurt his head at 1:45 a.m.
• A balding female driver was observed coming out of the Kingston liquor store at 2 p.m. and nearly hitting six vehicles.
• At a dirt bike race in Auburn, a bike crashed, going through a fence and hitting several spectators. No one was injured. The driver apologized, got on the bike and continued the race.
• Three chubby kids were supposedly stealing golf balls at Ken-Wo Golf Course in New Minas at 5:39 p.m.
• A possible impaired driver in Port Williams turned out instead to be a poor driver after police stopped him at 2:30 a.m.
• A Campbell Rd. resident of north Kentville reported a hazardous material was found on his doorknob. The material was a condom.
• Two cows were reported missing in Grafton at 1 p.m.

Categories: Urbanless

Small Town News

My sis was good enough to send me a link to an article from the local paper where we used to live Out East.

Yes.

A link to an article online.

So I spent an entire week reading nearly every article at novanewsnow.com. What a thrill! The article by the way was about some sewer engineering documents that had the decimal in the wrong place, which doubles the cost of the project in Kingston.

While living there, and whenever I visit, I make sure to pick up a couple of these locals for the entertainment if nothing else. (I was in the "goings on" section one year, announcing I was visiting)

Give it a surf. If the stories don't give you a chuckle, the writing technique certainly will! I'll give you a couple articles to start you off:

Vandalism turns over new leaf
West Kentville residence sullied by dumping of 65 bags of leaves

I was a young teenager in the Valley. I can vouch that there is nothing to do there. So, I can see myself as a 14 year old with my friends, collecting 65 bags of leaves from the neighbourhood and dumping them on some poor fool's yard. The highlight:

The man said he has no idea who would do such a thing, but he hopes the person or people responsible will come forward. He said at least seven homes had bags of leaves stolen from them and these homeowners have been affected and violated by the incident as well. “It affected the whole subdivision in a negative way."

Worst winter ever
'I'm 61 and I don't need this crap'

You'll just have to click on the link to truly appreciate this one.

Categories: Links, Urbanless

I'm still kicking around

I know it's been a while - I hope your scars will fade, gentle fans.

I feel compelled to share this.



These folks being from Cape Breton notwithstanding, did you make fun of them when you saw this ad? Were you embarrassed for them? This, my friends, is East Coast.

And this is Sydney. The second half is brilliant.




My Point? We need to get over ourselves.

Categories: Canada

Do you have an Allen Wrench?

You may recall this story last week, of a poor baby that fell through his apartment window. This is terrible and saddening news indeed. And seemingly common in Toronto.

A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to get new screens after another kid fell to his death. As it is now Toronto regulation that high rise apartment windows have fixed window stops, I knew it would only be a matter of days before my Super would be coming by to inspect windows as a result.

Today was the day. I officially can't open my window more than 10 Cm.

Until I get my hands on an Allen Wrench.

Categories: Neighbourhood

State of Good Repair

I just got off the phone with Vic. She has just completed her first week with a MetroPass in a very long time. She recently had her car totalled. She's decided not to replace it until her schedule picks up in the Fall.

"It's hard going back on the bus, isn't it?" I asked her.

I don't drive. I don't see the need to carry the expense. In fact, I am sans license. It has become very trendy these days for folks to declare publicly they take the bus for the sake of the environment. From a Carbon Credit point of view, my non-ownership of a vehicle allows me to throw Mookie's food cans into the regular garbage without guilt.

I have had periods of time in my life where a car came with the relationship. So I know how hard it is to go back on the system.

The most noticeable thing Vic noticed was the increase in new buses with air conditioning. And how things still don't work on the Sheppard Line. The escalators are a particular nightmare with the same ones either not working or closed for overhaul for months on end. And automatic doors that never worked right since the line was opened.

Of course I know this is because of lack of funding. With a dash of flat out poor workmanship and a measure of stupidity.

So I was pleased to come across this:



This is the_mkt's shot of automatic sliding doors that were 'recently' installed at St Clair station. Taken on April 9th, this is Day 166 of his flickr account of how long it takes the TTC to install an automatic door. Today is day 223, for your information.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

I'll leave you with a tip from Vic: In the morning, if you want to go South from Sheppard station, go North instead. You're guaranteed to get a seat once you get to Finch and will only cost you a few minutes.

Categories: Transit, Links

The weekly flyers

Several years ago, I started receiving a plastic bag full of flyers, left conveniently hanging on my door knob every Friday or Saturday.

Now, I'm not a flyer kind of guy. And the local newspaper that is supposed to be in the bag never is. When I'm away for the weekend, everyone knows it from the simple fact the bag is hanging there. I typically end up throwing the works out in the garbage can as I leave my building.

Many moons ago, I bought and affixed a sign to my door asking not to leave junk mail. This addressed the problem probably only half the time.

As luck would have it, a few weeks ago I was leaving my apartment to see a handsome young man coming out of the elevator with a buggy of these stupid bags. He held the elevator for me.

"Do you want to come in for a couple of drinks?" I asked in my mind.

"I live in that apartment right there," I actually said.
"Yeah"
"I'm not sure how much you get to deliver that stupid bag for me each week. Here's ten bucks not to."
"Cool, thanks. No problem"

There hasn't been a flyer hanging off my door knob ever since.

And sadly, no sign of the strapping young man either.

Categories: Neighbourhood

Lots of Vision

If you are more hip than me (and the odds have it you are), you've probably heard of Twitter. The concept is to leave one line descriptions of what you are currently doing. I simply don't get it. What i get less is Twittervision. It provides a geographic location of where these losers are that are participating in Twitter.

Well, the vision guy has come up with something that even I think is cool. flickrvision. Same concept, except it shows pictures recently uploaded to flickr. Kinda of like watching pictures being developed in the window of Japan Camera.

Finally, for a glance of what's going on in the news, this is a good cloud.

Categories: Links

Burger King

I'm on Duty at work this week. This means I cover off another part of the operation on evenings and on Saturday. I'm on call until Monday. Now, as you know I deal with boxes. This part of the operation deals with trucks and ladders. It's really sexy actually.

As much as I know and love boxes, I don't know the first friggn' thing about trucks and ladders.

Shit, my life in the form of a paradox.

In any event, the week totally kills me because of the hours and the workload. Plus I don't have the two fundamental clicks needed to make a clue when it comes to anything related to anything I'm supposedly managing.

They give me a Blackberry. It's an amazing invention! Every time it vibrates, I'm invited down a path to Hell.

It means either:

a) I have received an e-mail that conveys a message that even though it makes sense, I have no fucking idea what it means, much less know what I should do about it.

b) It is someone I don't know calling. (In these cases I just let it go to voicemail, to give me time to figure out what the hell to do about what they want)

I don't know why people actually like carrying them. Losers.

And then there are the real people. I have no clue what their names are, or what they do. Occasionally they actually come to me and ask me questions. It usually goes like this:

"Are you Ian?"
"Yes."
"There's this job and it was gonna be Xsomething as Xother. But now it's LTR."
"And?"
"Well, what should I do?"
"What do you think you should do?"
"Um, I was thinking of ping on it, but I know it is dark out."
"Do you think p-ing on it is the smart thing to do?"
"I think so."
"You're probably right. Go ahead."

I usually get bitchy after only a couple days of this. Really bitchy. Even Mookie is avoiding me at this point.

The only thing that got me through to the end of the shift today was the knowledge that today is Whopper Wednesday. The bus in front of work conveniently stops in front of a Burger King. Ian deserves a break today! (get it?)

It was a memorable experience. I remember all two things the guy behind the counter said to me. "Next" and "Three seventy-nine."

I stewed in my own surly shit on the subway trip home. Why are these fools not given basic customer service skills? Is it this bad at McDonald's? No, Burger King is worse. By the time I was home firing up the Information Superhighway, I had already drafted in my mind a witty yet honest dispatch for the King.

Technology has evolved to the point a hand held device can cause me instant chaos (and can also tell me what time the LCBO closes while I'm on the bus).

Technology has not however evolved to the point where Burger King provides an electronic means of providing them with feedback (unless you call the 800 number from your cellphone, I suppose).
So no instant gratification for Ian today. You may be happy to know you can apply for a job from their website, right to the store location. You may be equally happy to know that after much pondering, I decided not to hit the 'submit' button.

Monday will come soon enough.

Categories: Work, Life, Rant

The Smoke Detector

With every Spring comes the annual fire alarm testing. The Landlord has been good at upgrading the building along with new Fire Code requirements over the years. So for several years they have been inspecting and replacing the smoke detector battery on the day they test the fire alarm. I replace it every fall, but ended up replacing it again with the early Daylight Savings Time for some reason.

Fire Alarm Day came last week. As has been the routine for several years I pulled their smoke detector from the closet, dusted it off, and left it on the table near the door for them to hopefully haul off.

I had replaced it - all by myself - because it was getting old and I preferred the other type. For $20 I didn't feel like filling out a work order to get a new one, which may still have been the other type. (If you don't know what I mean about "types," I suggest you give this a read.)

I worked from home as originally planned on Fire Alarm Day to better take care of a couple errands mid-day. As luck would have it, the Super knocked on the door when I was in the midst of a conference call.

I quickly answered the door. The super grumbles, and in comes some kid with a step ladder and battery. As he attempts to replace the battery, he pulls the smoke detector out of the ceiling. He tells me they need to remount it, and leaves into the hall. The Super at this point has already moved on to the next apartment.

"Ian? Do you agree?"
I hear coming out of the speaker of my Vista 350.
Off I was back to the phone, contemplating my response.
Given the type of meeting this was, I quickly dismissed my "I'm not sure I've fully wrapped my head around this one. Could you restate the question?" tactic, and deployed, "I kind of agree, yes. I'm so close to being bought in I have my wallet in my hand." It worked.

That was the last I saw of my smoke detector. And my battery. And my screw, for that matter. I figured they'd be back by 5. Then I figured the Super would consider it an 'emergency' and just come in on Tuesday. I thought of calling on Wednesday, but the Super gets every other Wednesday off, and I never know which it is.

How ironic that in an effort of the Landlord being in compliance with Fire Code, I end up without a working smoke detector.

The irony having worn off, I bought and installed a new one this evening. For 12 bucks it's done. It doesn't make sense to me to pursue what I'm out. After all, if I called today and died in a fire tonight, I'm not going to see any of the settlement.

I may however sell their smoke detector on ebay.

Categories: Neighbourhood, Life

CrackBook

Georgina, along with Pete, are my smoking circle. It's a triangle really. We also maintain a pretty consistent routine of weekly pints.

G and Pete are on the same work team. I was on that team until I got fed up with the bullshit and got a new job on a different floor. Now I put up with different bullshit. When I think about it, when I'm taking a smoke break to get away from my BS I get to hear about their BS, which is my old BS. No wonder I think my head's going to explode after I smoke.

So G started working at our office - and moved to da T-dot - about a year ago. She is from a part of the business we (we being everyone but them) refer to as the Dark Side. We talk to her anyway.

Georgina is the one of the biggest losers in my life, in terms of the sheer volume of misplaced items. For example, she typically loses her security pass once per quarter. Last week her wallet was found and returned before she knew it was lost. An amazing feat given her wallet is the size of a brick.

For those interested, on a tonnage basis my friend Effie is in fact the biggest loser, having misplaced her Honda Civic.

In any event, G signed up on Facebook. For the last couple days, every smoke break had a built-in Facebook update. G was basically hooked by our third break.

So I took a look. For those not in the know, I understand Facebook is the new MySpace. It's initial intention was to keep college friends together. This has since been opened up to include workplaces and locations as well. So it's an online social web that you can only be a part of if you're friends with at least one person in it.

The first person I added was G. In the space of a couple days, I now have about 7 confirmed friends. A good deal of my time is consumed browsing through everyone's friends, see. It's fun, with the occasional realisation I'm making it way too easy for people to track me down. But that's just the old in me talking.

Categories: Links, Friends, Work

April Fools?

Vic and I were talking over breakfast about an AP story in the Star.

According to the story, an amusement park in California has a stern no-screaming policy for its new ride, named The Screamer.

The policy was put into effect on March 29th, a few weeks after the ride opened. The neighbours have been complaining about the noise. Never mind they live on the other side of a 12 lane highway.

Once you give the story a read, I think you agree it comes across as an April Fools' joke. After some research, I am on the fence.

First of all, here's the website for the park in question. It is possible the website is made-up. It is a tragic site to say the least, and appears not to have been updated since August. There is no mention of the new ride. The place does exist, as it can be seen on Google Maps.

I checked out the town's website to see if I can sniff anything there. No mention in their meeting minutes. Council did agree to close some streets to allow for a parade at the start of Little League season however. This of course sways me that the place is hick enough not to tolerate screaming.

I shall continue scanning for news that this is a hoax. In the meantime i shall consider this a publicity stunt for the park.

Categories: Space

Sounds of the City

On the stairs to the can, the Fox and Firkin, March 14th 21:03

Guy (To friend): Dude, if I could read minds, I'd be getting laid left and right.





Categories: Heard

Kids

Those who know me know I'm not big on kids. And you probably came to know this with your jaw dropped, listening to my opinions on what should be done with them.

For those who don't know me, I'll give you and example. Public attractions should have specific days in which kids are not allowed. Imagine a day at the zoo without kids. True bliss I tell you!

Another example: Several years ago my household and my sister's household got together and did what we do best - ate out. We went to a buffet restaurant. While waiting to be seated I immediately saw an overabundance of kids. I'm talking Chuck E Cheese kid ratio here.

Hostess: Smoking or none?
Me: Whichever has fewer kids.
Hostess: Umm....
Sister: Yeah, see, it's kind of kids eat free day here today.
Me:
Sister: He wants smoking
Me: You knew this all along!

Nothing like sharing a buffet with a bunch of snotty kids with dirty hands defiling the pizza bar.

Now the major population of Runescape are teens. I share that virtual world getting annoyed because someone who is probably 14 is calling me a 'noob.'

They are more prevalent in the forums. They are easy to find simply based on spelling ability. Apparently at some point in the 90's education spending was reduced by governments - the budget cutbacks resulted in the cessation of the teaching of 10% of the alphabet. And teaching what order they should be used to form words is now nothing more than a high level overview.

This particular forum post stuck out, given the fact there is sentence structure. This post was in response to advice he was given to complete a quest.

Thanks ^_^. I'll try, but atm i'm doing jungle potion. I can play Rs this weekend because my interim grade was a C. yay!^_^

Get this: The kid gets a C, so he's allowed to play Runescape on weekends.

So my virtual and fake world is populated by kids, and not necessarily the smartest ones in the class. I feel like such a perv. I feel like what I thought of the guy who was hanging out in the Chuck E Cheese's bar, sucking down a pint.

All I can hope for is a kid's free Runescape Day. Until then, I still have midnight to dawn.

Categories: Life, Runescape

Transit City

Back in 1985 the TTC was still in its prime. Ridership was growing (and was higher than today's levels). There were 1800 buses in the fleet, including Trolley Buses. (We should net out at around 1400 buses this year).

For those of you who like foreshadowing, the Scarborough RT opened in March of '85. The TTC wanted a light transit solution, such as a streetcar right-of-way. The province was very clear - we will fund this project, but we want to showcase the government-owned RT technology for the world to drum up business. We'll fund the RT or nothing.

This year also marked the release of the Network 2011 report. It officially listed the transit priorities for Metro Toronto, with a planned completion of (obviously) 2011.

Highlights:
Spadina extension to Downsview (completed)
Sheppard Subway from Downsview to Scarborough Centre (completed Yonge to Don Mills)
Downtown relief subway from Donlands to Union (never started)
Eglinton West subway to Mississauga (Hole was dug, funding was pulled, hole was filled in)

The price tag over 25 years was $5 billion.

Why wasn't this $200 million a year network built? Politics. The Provincial Conservatives you see funded 75% of all subway construction (the TTC entirely funded the original Yonge line) until they lost power in the 80's. The Liberals would not support Transit 2011. The NDP came to power (although to this day I never met on Ontarian who admitted to voting for them), and even though we endured Rae Days during a recession, they committed to Eglinton and Sheppard funding. Then the Conservatives came back to power. They immediately killed two things: Photo Radar and the Eglinton Line. And all transit funding period.

And that's why the legacy of 2011 is a subway between malls and Torontonians riding buses that were bought by the Conservatives in 1983. And eco-friendly trolleys have been off the roads for more than a decade because no one would shell out money to replace the fleet.

So last week, our new transit priorities were released: Transit City.

It addresses transit needs across the city and spans to every corner. It's very simple: 120 km of light rail transit service on right-of-way. It is a 15 year plan with a price of $6.1 billion (or about $400 million a year). It immediately increased capacity compared to the existing routes without emissions. And the ROW improves travel time.

Transit City represents the most dramatic shift in transit thinking that Toronto has ever seen. It does not propose even one km of subway. It recognises that years of not building cannot be made up with a subway solution. I would suggest I will not see (well, after Spadina goes to Vaughan) another subway construction project in my lifetime. It represents logic.

So, the question begs to be asked - why are there funding announcements for a subway when two weeks later, the subway is not a priority? Did Toronto miss the boat on timing? Did Toronto try to secure funding not only for the subway, but also for Transit City? Is funding for Transit City not at risk simply due to the commitments on Spadina? If this was your money (which it is), would you have paid for Spadina or Transit city?

So let's talk about the $2 billion for Spadina. It works out to about $250 million a year until the 8 km extension is built. (if this was rolled into Transit City, and light rail was used, it would cost about $400 million) Keeping in mind I'm using simple math - this money could build 50 km of Transit City in the same time frame. Spadina, and three other lines.

This my friends is where Miller's One Cent campaign comes in. withholding 1% of the GST equals around $450 million a year for Toronto. There are other priorities of course in the city - social housing is a good example. Conceivably however, if the Province were to contribute nothing, securing the 1 cent will pay for Transit City. It will free up (a paltry) $50 million for other city capital priorities. It will reduce the TTCs capital load on buses (the new generation will need to be replaced by the time Transit City is complete). In short, with a commitment of sustainable funding, Transit City could be a reality. Perhaps it will take 20 years instead of 15 - the key is, with sustainable funding it can be planned.

On the current path, we will end up fighting for funding for light rail one line at a time. And the money will flow when the optics are good. Such as an approaching election. Transit in a sustainable city needs to have a sustainable plan. A shiny new Don Mills LRT doesn't matter much when the roof of Bloor station caves in.

The third thing: The Ontario Finance Minister providing funding for Spadina, which will run under his riding. The Provincial election is October 10.

My general philosophy on elections: I don't give a shit what you did, tell me what you're going to do. Eighty percent of Canadians are now urban. I had better be hearing about transit funding, not expressways and not grain subsidies. And certainly not same-sex marriage.

So Pete, there you go. In case you missed it, I do not support a subway extension. If 2011 had been realised - and only then - would this funding make sense.

For more transit information, I refer all to Transit Toronto which you can navigate to from my Links.

For transit opinions, I refer you to Steve Munro's website. (By the way, I haven't read any of Steve's opinions on what I've posted. He likely has a different view - or at least an easier to read one.)

Categories: Transit, Politics, Toronto

Transolotics

So there's been a lot of transit politicking as of late.

Federally, the Conservatives maintain their minority government, while maintaining a holding pattern for an election. Hell, they even announced AIDS funding.
Provincially, an election is required (under the current government's legislation) to occur in October.
Municipally, we just re-elected a mayor on a platform (namely 1 cent of the GST) he announced during his victory speech.

Mix all of this together, and add a dash of Environmental Awareness and you get a transit concoction.

Let's break it down.

Funding

First off, Toronto's recently approved capital budget gives half to the TTC, and half to the rest of the city. Think about that.

Name a city anywhere in which half of its capital goes towards transit. The other half towards everything else - roads, water mains, community centres, police cars. It simply is not sustainable.

Make no mistake: We are running the most undersubsidised transit system in the world. It is up to Toronto - an no one else - to pay for transit. What do we get for the money? Bare minimum. the budget will buy a bus to replace the 24 year old one that took me home this evening. It won't however cover the cost of paint for the 16 year old bus terminal that hasn't seen maintenance since it opened. You may recall a time when the province picked up 75% of the capital budget tab, and the city the rest. In that era, one still had to kick and scream to get subway extensions and the like, but day-to-day capital flowed. If that formula was in place today, the city commitment to transit capital would be more like 15%

Of note, Toronto refused to pay the capital against security cameras in the system. You may recall my rant about the sliver of $40 million the Feds gave under terrorist security. (One facility, Union Station received about as much as all of the TTC). The good news is the city is pushing this back to the feds. The bad news is our transit system will be no more secure this year. And likely less secure than other major Canadian systems.

The Spadina Subway

There was been talk and assessments for some time with an eye to extend the Spadina subway to York University and beyond. Recently, the 'beyond' was defined as about 3 km into Vaughan. The funding is now in place for this $2 billion extension - the feds dropped by to give a third of the cost. McGuinty ponied up a third, and Toronto and York Region split the other third (notice the Municipal level was still left with 33%, not 25% of this capital expense)

So who benefits once this thing is built? In Toronto, folks who go to York, for school or work. And folks who feel the need to go to Downtown Vaughan - which I presume consists of a big Wal-Mart and a Chapters. In Vaughan on the other hand this benefits everyone who actually works in Toronto.

Peter (the asker of my opinion) lives in York Region and works in Toronto. He also takes transit. His lot in life will be better because presumably there will be a shift of passengers off the Yonge line, which today runs at crush-load capacity in the morning. Pete by the way is a missed demographic with the TTC, but that's a different rant for a different day.

Back on course: Is this truly a transit priority for Toronto? One would think, given it took a decade to get funding to build the Sheppard Subway. I remember a time when what was built as Sheppard was only phase I. It was to stretch to Scarborough. As it stands four years later it is effectively a shuttle between two malls, saves 10 minutes on the commute, and costs the TTC about $2 million more a year to operate that to simply close it and go back to buses. So why is all this money falling on Spadina, in the name of the environment? Why not extend Sheppard, for example?

It seems the last time the Feds paid any attention to Toronto, it was to provide show shoveling services courtesy of the Army. $670 million out of the blue, to get a bunch of punks to York? (The punks of course being the faculty) Is Keele St. in a war torn state? Look, the federal government simply doesn't fund city projects. Unless it's the Centennial. Or the Olympics. Maybe.

There must be a logical connection. How do you get Conservative Feds and Provincial Liberals to separately but mutually support this? Hmmm.

The Logical Connection

Vaughan is a city that thinks it's so slick (probably because Canada's Wonderland is there), it at one time had radio advertising campaigns touting how and why it was better than Toronto. You recall "The city above Toronto, the City of Vaughan" eh? Of course, there was never a mention about how there is no hospital within it's city limits. Vaughan is also in the 905. The 905 typically votes Conservative.

Toronto of course is located at the Centre of the Universe. It has zero representation on the government side of Parliament. We voted Liberal, with a spattering of NDP. (That's a good reason why Harper should have shown up last summer)

So McGuinty paid $650 million to the benefit of the 905ers. Who now may be persuaded to vote Liberal on October 10th.

Harper paid $650 million one would think to the benefit of the 416ers. In case they want to go to Wal-Mart I suppose. This of course will sway some votes. He definitely solidifies the votes in 905 (Further transit funding was announced there). Our dear Harper needs to gain seats in Toronto in order to get a majority.

Is that Logical?

Well, no.

Vote getting aside for a minute, none of this moves us towards sustainable funding. It's still piecemeal. It is political.

Recently Toronto, via Miller, launched the 1 cent campaign - its basis being, give Toronto 1% of GST revenue, or we won't vote for you. Again. This of course isn't targeted to transit funding but rather general municipal funding. This makes Miller's campaign related to transit funding, but really nothing to do with it. Kind of like invading Iraq and relating it to fighting terrorism.

What is logical

You'll need to wait for my next post, where I'll explore what really is the transit priority.

All you need to do in the meantime is remember the following:

• $2 billion
• Sustainable funding
• A subway that will go through the Provincial Finance Minister's riding

Categories: Transit, Politics, Toronto

For Pete's Sake

During one of our smoke breaks, Peter told me he was surprised I hadn't posted about the announced funding for the extension of the Spadina Subway. (Which, for reasons obvious to Torontonians cannot be called the "Spadina Extension")

Let me introduce Peter: He is a colleague at work. The first time I met him, he was wearing a bandana - on his head - and sporting a Harvey's burger - at his desk. He de-punkified in quick order and ended up getting hired to do the same thing I was in my last role, which was in short moving mountains instead of counting boxes. He's actually really good at it. Ah, to be in my 20's again, that magical, pre-jaded era.

In any event, I owe Pete an answer. Which, if you haven't already you will soon read.

Categories: Friends, Transit

Friday Feast #133

Appetizer
What does the color pink make you think of?
The 1980's comes to mind as does the name of an initiative at work. An initiative that caused me a good deal of grief. Until it was killed.
So the colour pink makes me think of an entity stuck 20 years ago, collapsing under the shear weight its own bureaucracy. The colour pink is in fact a paradox.

Soup
Name something you thought you had lost, but later found.
Thinking I've answered this question before, I took a look. Turns out the question was whether I lost anything important to me. So the dark side of me chuckles as I can safely say the answer doesn't apply here as well.
I thought I lost my mind.
I lost my patience
I thought I lost my virginity one time, but I really didn't due to a technicality.

Salad
In 3 words, describe this past week.
Bullshit then hibernation.

Main Course
What are you obsessed with?
What am I not obsessed with? Perfect example: If I update the blog, good bet it's a Feast.

Dessert
What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?
I've been wearing some Italian stuff, but not big on the scene.

Categories: Feast

Where's Willy?

You may have in your travels come across a bill in your change telling you to track it at www.whereswilly.com

The very thing happened to me a few years ago, and I took the time to register. And then I forgot all about it. That is until I got a 20 with a handwritten plea to track it on the weekend. (I did, it's last known location was in Dorval)

Now, I do a lot of useless things online - including maintaining a blog - but this is something even I can't keep on top of. There are folks out there however who not only make the time to enter all their bills, but also use a rubber stamp on them so others will track the bill as well - resulting on a hit.

It's worth the surf just to watch the travels of our currency. And if you get a bill asking to be tracked, do the proper Canadian thing and register it.

Categories: Links

Friday Feast #132

Appetizer
Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it?
The most noticeable is down my chest, and was caused by a scalpel.

Soup
What is something that has happened to you that you would consider a miracle?
A co-worker several years ago went through something that he considered a miracle. Both he and his wife worked for the store. Things were very tight that month, and they didn't know how they'd make rent. He is a proud man, and was very reluctant to ask the owner for an advance, even though we all knew the owner always obliged without questions.

So that night he prayed, and he looked to his Bible to give him the humility needed to ask for help. Something fell out. It was two cheques - by now stale - one for each as part of the annual vacation payout. He brought them in to work the next day, and the owner was pleased to make good on them that day.

The kicker to all this being, he put them in the Bible in the first place, as he prayed for guidance to spend the unexpected wealth wisely.

Me on the other hand, thought it was a miracle that I got out of bed on Sunday.

Salad
Name a television personality who really gets on your nerves.
Lately, and the first to come to mind is Tom Brown. The weather guy for CTV is described by them as having a "unique fun and exciting style." I just can't stand how bloody happy he is all the time. I figure the tea drinking crowd just loves him. My mother, for example. Actually, he wouldn't get on my nerves at all if I were watching him with Mom in the room. I have witnessed her many times in the past getting visibly pissed off over a hot snap, for example. So Tom and Mom would technically cancel each other out. White noise.

Main Course
What was a funny word you said as a child (such as "pasketti" for "spaghetti")?
By Toronto's standards, every word I said as a child was funny, given my now-faded Nova Scotia accent. It's funny - you can make fun of an Atlantic Canadian's accent, but it's taboo to do the same with an ethnic one.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have always thought ______ was ______.
Fill it in yourself.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #131

Appetizer
What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?
I worked in an office in which the phones only had one ring tone to choose from. As a result, if you were away from your desk, you could never tell if it was your phone that was ringing. I often said we should be able to program our phones. I wanted to reprogram my ringer to say, "Ian, your phone is ringing."

Soup
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
I'm generally overcast but leave others with the perception they're under a Tornado Watch.

Salad
What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?
It would probably be call centre planning, forecasting and scheduling.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?
I would read an encyclopedia. But only one day, eh? I could be really knowledgeable in things A-D in that time frame.

Dessert
If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?
Neilson used to make a chocolate bar called Treasures. It would be like that, and I would name it the same.
No sense in reinventing the wheel.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #130

Appetizer -
Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
I have suffered nothing more than a very mild cold. The skin on my hands have gone to hell though, and nothing seems to be working.

Soup -
What colors dominate your closet?
Shoot, I don't know. I'm very balanced with my wardrobe these days. Let's say grey.

Salad -
How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
I never refer to things against my comfort zone. I'm not about to.

Main Course -
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
If I had to choose one - because I don't really want to be on any - probably Big Brother, 'cause they have air conditioning and you pretty much just sit around all day.

Dessert -
Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
Canada Day.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #129

Appetizer
What was one of the fashion fads when you were a teenager?
I moved to da T-dot from a small town just in time for high school. As a result I was unable to keep up with the fads. The biggest thing to wear was a Roots sweatshirt. Or a Polo (as in striped oxford cut) shirt. I was must struck by the hair. If you were a guy, you likely had a mushroom haircut or a rat tail. Or both. Girls had some portion of their head shaved. Or just shitloads of hair. Despite my Sears Catalogue upbringing, I managed to get both shirts. My hair of course has never seen the price of a 'style.'

Soup
Name one thing you think people assume about you when they first meet you.
Gosh, I haven't thought about this. Although one common theme is they assume I'm an asshole.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how hard do you work?
I've been at about a 7, but I need to pull it into 10 the next few weeks.

Main Course
If you were given a free 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl to sell anything you currently own, what would you advertise?
Mookie. Duh.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I love to ________ when it is _________.
I love to sleep when it is raining.
Yeah, I know. I've been behind on my posts - you'd expect more effort on my part in filling out the blanks.

Categories: Feast

A chance to see Lower Bay Station

If you're in the know, you know that Bay Station actually has two platform levels. The platform below the currently-used Bay Station was in use for only about six months after the Bloor-Danforth line opened in '66.


Every other train on the B-D line would go downtown via the University line at Bay. If that's where you were headed, this was a good thing. This routing meant both Bay and St George had four platforms serving three directions. The Eastbound train would alternate between the two levels at Bay, Westbound doing the same at St George. The routing also meant the entire system could feel the effects of a delay.

So its entrances were boarded up and Lower Bay became a station of neglect.
Much like Upper Bay. And the entire system. Non-revenue trains have continued to use the tracks ever since, primarily to switch lines and for crew training. It's other main purpose is to serve as a set (for a nominal fee) to a number of TV and movie productions.

So here we have a subway station that's been closed for 40 years and next to nil access. A magnet for infiltrators and a curiosity-inducer for urban explorers. As good fortune would have it, the tunnel between Bay and St George needs some repairs.

This means on weekends starting later this month this chunk of tunnel will be closed. If the plan goes as expected, both the East and West trains will terminate at Museum. Trains will get to and from Yonge/Bloor via - you got it, Lower Bay. It's not stopping at the station but still.

So unless you're a TTC employee, work for a production company or are an infiltrator this is likely your only chance to see the other half.


Check out Transit Toronto in my links for lots more about the TTC both past and present.

Categories: Transit, Urban, Exploration

Friday Feast #128

Appetizer
If you could take lessons to learn any musical instrument, which would you want to learn?
I'm no good with anything to do with music. During our exploration of the Crystal Ballroom, my friend Bruce walked up to the piano - discarded in the middle of this huge space - and hammered out a few notes. I thought it was really cool and therefore I would like to learn to play the piano.

Soup
Have you ever mistaken a person for someone else?
Yes I have and I hate it. I therefore am never the first person to speak. Seriously, I recently mistook some stranger for another colleague at work. this of course is because they have similar features. Kind of related - have you ever had one of these conversations:
"Do you know so-an-so?"
"No."
"Oh, because you look just like him."

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
It depends on the context, so I won't give a rating. I surmise it's somewhere below average.

Main Course
What's the closest you've ever been to a dangerous animal?
Again, it depends on the context, and I have a dirty mind.

Dessert
When was the last time you lost your patience?
I'm a very level person, as anyone would tell you. When in the hell are these questions going to get interesting! Sheesh!

Categories: Feast

Today's Free Item

I stopped for some groceries and lucked in today with a 2 litre PC Cola. I was planning on buying it (for I'm out of mix) anyway. I noticed the price portion or the shelf label had been ripped off other PC flavours, but not the Cola.

*Free item not exactly as illustrated

Sure enough, it scanned in at $.99 but had a shelf sticker of $.89.

This represents the smallest price difference and the cheapest free item. The interaction at the counter they call "customer service" was priceless, however.

Girl (In photolab shirt): Did you want customer service?
Me: Um, yes.
Girl: Sorry, I can't help you.
Me: What if I wanted to pick up pictures? Could you help me then?
Girl: Yes! Did you want to pick up pictures?
Me: No, I want customer service.

When someone who could help me showed up shortly after, I went through the same routine I always do. It started with "Are you sure you were overcharged? It was only 99 cents"

Come to think of it, that's pretty much where it ended as well, since she didn't say anything else to me.

I readily took my $1.13 given to me in cash, taking note of how it was made perfectly clear to me on a previous occasion refunds for debit transactions need to be on debit. I decide not to press my luck. I grab my stuff and bolt for the door.

On a related note, it appears Loblaws does read MLH. There were ample baskets at the entrance today. In a seven foot pile. It made me smile.

Categories: Retail

Friday Feast #127

Appetizer
Which television shows do you just refuse to miss?
I'm not a huge TV watcher - in fact, I couldn't tell you anything about any of the prime time dramas. I'm always sure to watch the Mercer Report and SNL.

Soup
Who did you last speak to on the telephone?
A co-worker on the other end of the floor. We were talking about who (which department) was supposed to pay an invoice. It was agreed she would pay it. Except I came to learn we already paid the stupid invoice, because we're so bloody efficient. Go team!

Salad
How many pillows do you keep on your bed?
Usually four, if you count the floor. I use two under my head, and one for huggage.

Main Course
Name one addition to your computer (software, hardware, etc.) that you’d love to have.
I'd love a new computer. I should look into that...

Dessert
What is your favorite foreign food?
I once referred to a boyfriend as that. Currently my fave foreign food is the Donair.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #126

Appetizer
What comes to mind when you see the color orange?
The 1970s.

Soup
Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for?
I was a pretty good kid. I got in trouble once in grade 8 for getting in a fight with my friend. To teach us to get along, we both had to pick up acorns from the parking lot until the bus left.

Salad
Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza?
I'm into Pineapple and Ham these days.

Main Course
Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not?
UFOs do exist, and they're reported all the time. I don't belive they are from a different world, however. Just not identified. I simply haven't seen enough evidence to support the theory.

Dessert
What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt?
It's a light brown with black trim.

Categories: Feast

Halifax Nightlife

Another entry originally drafted during my trip to the Fax.

I managed on the Friday before Christmas to get out and soak in the nightlife of Halifax. Now Haligonians are not a cosmopolitan lot. In fact, most would tell you Cosmopolitan is an ice cream flavour.



Halifax is there because that's where the harbour is. See, where there's a harbour there is always a navy and a good deal of shipping. So a bunch of people got together, called themselves Haligonians (because the were go'n to Halifax) and off they went. These Haligonians of course were Brewers, Bartenders and Hookers. This means the joint generally booms when there's war, and is pretty sucky in peace time. Its bars have historically held sailors still on their sea legs, clutching a shore pass - hoping to get a couple shots, a pint of Keith's, find a fight, and pick up some tail before their ship's horn blows.

Most holds true today.

For instance: I've been in town when some Marines hit shore on Tuesday night. The bars were hopping with handsome young men enjoying a few of something they weren't old enough to have back in South Carolina. Intermingled in the crowd of course were the girls that just happened to show up, as if it were a Saturday.

And then there are Halifags. They, as with the rest of the town have a rich Military Tradition.


I went through the Halifax Drinking Checklist while crossing the Harbour in the Ferry:

• Know the bar before you start staring at people.
• Halifax is on a hill. Choose a venue keeping this in mind. There's nothing worse than trying to crawl up a hill drunk.
• Donairs are a seemingly good idea at 3 in the morning. Remember you will smell like a donair and stale beer in the morning.
• The only place to get a cab after midnight is at the Casino. You'll save more time staggering there than trying to flag one down on the street.

I started my evening at Cheers in the Liquor Dome. Cheers is a place quite different than one on the show, just so you know. The crowd gets younger as the day progresses. She opens her doors for the day to the walker crowd, and is kicking the university crowd out at last call.

I arrived at nine. That's how old I am.

I had a grand time listening to conversation at the bar. One very nice and equally drunk regular bought me a pint of Keith's. What made it special for the holiday season was his friends convinced him it was time to go home immediately after, so I got to enjoy it in Peace.

The band finally started up. I love Halifax bands! I have no clue however what the name of this particular band is. They were all over the map in their set, from U2 to NS. And the lead singer was a hottie. Overall, an awesome set. As they took a break, I knew it was time for me to bounce, as it were.

For Cheers hit that time bubble where the generational shift begins in the crowd. As the younger patrons begin to stream in, the older crowd is getting to look like a bunch of freaks. It is their last call. The guys realise they only have one more chance to drop their date rape drug in some one's drink. The ladies order one more drink then go to the washroom.

Trying to shake the bone-chilling breeder display I just endured, off I went to the Cabaret.

Rejections is still the spot. It's been 10 years since I first set foot in there, and have probably been there less than 5 times before. The look never changes, and neither does the crowd. It still considers itself to have a mixed crowd, which it does. The straight component however is generally there to pick up drugs.

I was there early. The place doesn't gain momentum until Happy Hour, which runs 11-1. It's a frugal crowd, to be sure. I enjoy being there early so I can people-watch. Now, if you've ever seen Trailer Park Boys, you may be of the opinion that the crowd scenes are poorly acted.


As I scanned the few people there, a startling feeling came over me that I was dropped into the middle of a TPB episode. I began to realise - this could be the Toronto influence in me - that indeed, Halifax is poorly acted.

All I could do was get myself some $2.50 Keith's and enjoy the music. And then Paul cheers' me. I ask where he's from.
"Don't laugh," he pleads.
"I won't"
"Canning. The Valley."

I laugh, then quickly tell him I used to live in the Valley. Through the night, he will never ask and I will never reveal that I am from Toronto. I'm smitten with Valley guys. And I find myself with something to do while I'm enjoying my Keith's. I spend the rest of the evening enjoying brief encounters with Paul.

At some point well after Happy Hour, I asked Paul where he was staying.
"Across the street"
"At the hotel?"
"No in the parking lot, in my car. I'm going to nap before I drive back tomorrow."

It became obvious it was time to leave. And off I went into the night.

Well, I necked with Paul for a while and copped a couple really decent feels. Then I left after telling him I was going to the bar.

Halifax is like that. She will show you a good time, but will usually pull back at the last minute. Like many of her hookers.

Categories: Breeders, Clubs, Gay, People, Travel

Friday Feast #125

Appetizer
Which celebrity (or celebrities) do you think will make headlines this year?
I don't usually give two shits about celebrities, so I don't have an answer kicking around. I'm thinking that someone from the View will, since no one seems to be catching on those chicks are kicking up dirt for publicity. Plus we're due for a celebrity getting a BJ from some male trick in a wig. I'm thinking Tom Cruise at some Interstate rest stop.




Soup
They say that good things come in small packages? What is something little that you think is great?
LOL, I have to get my mind out of the gutter. Most great things that come in little packages are in fact illegal. I'll go with a tea bag.

Salad
Name a song that makes you want to dance.
I'm sorry, I don't spontaneously dance. Many things must be in play including the proper alignment of certain planets, to make me want to dance. So I can't narrow it down to a song.

Main Course
What is your favorite font?
Arial Rocks.

Dessert
If you were to write a do-it-yourself article, what would it be about?
I've been meaning to write one on how to stop procrastinating. Maybe I'll dust it off on the weekend.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #124

I skipped #123 'cause I'm behind, and it's all about Christmas. Bah, humbug.

Appetizer
How do you usually celebrate on New Year's Eve?
I don't have a tradition and never plan for it. NYE just happens...although I don't recall the last time I was home for it. I brought in 007 at the haunt. To answer the question, I usually celebrate NYE drunk, and more likely to be in your lap than at home.

Soup
Name one thing unexpected that happened to you in 2006.
Getting my new job.


Salad
Where was your favorite place that you visited in 2006?
Halifax, of course.

Main Course
What resolution is your top priority for 2007?
As a rule, I don't make resolutions with the new year. Easter is a better timeframe for that, no? Why join a gym in January when patio weather is still 5 months away.
In any event, if something about you is a top priority for you to change, I suggest you don't wait till January to get off your arse and do something about it. Just a thought.

Dessert
Using just three words, describe 2006.
Pretty good year.

Categories: Feast