Mookie's Last Hope

Farewell Mookie

2009-05-11T11:52:00.002-04:00

Our poor Mookie was put to rest last Tuesday May 5th. He was somewhere between 15 and 17 years old.

Those who follow my sporadic posts will recall I inherited Mookie when my father passed away nearly six years ago.

Mookie was starting to show his age over the last few weeks. For example, he would sit in his water bowl while he ate. He stopped shredding my furniture in the pursuit of sharpening his claws. He stopped waking me up at the crack of dawn. In his final days, he simply stopped taking care of himself.

When it comes to senior cats there is indeed a balancing act. One wants to make sure kitty is still content and comfortable. When there is any indication that that stops happening, it's time to make a trip to the vet.

That is the harshest moment in cat ownership - packing up a kitty in a carrier, knowing full well it will be the last he will see of his home. While kitty is oblivious.

I tend not to get too emotional over the loss of a pet. I have had far more heart-wrenching experiences. I've lost family members, friends and ex-boyfriends. I'll save my mourning for those events.

Farewell Mookie. You lived a full life, and I'm happy to have given you another six years.

Categories: Mookie

The Voicemail

2008-11-10T11:40:00.002-05:00

Howdy folks!

This has been kicking around for a while. If you haven't heard it, give it a listen - it'll put a smile on your face. Actually, even if you have heard it, enjoy it again!

To set this up, some guy who works at the Jack in the Box head office is leaving a voicemail for his boss as he's running late. While he leaves the message, he witnesses a car accident and provides a play-by-play on the voicemail.

While it is not known whether this really happened, Jack in the Box did confirm the voicemail's existence. It was forwarded internally so much that their voicemail system crashed.

Categories: People, Space

The Axe

2008-08-28T18:25:00.002-04:00

As you know, I've been on a stint for the last couple years and have been working for the same company for nearly six. They recently announced, after a year of being burdened with hammering our a buy-out, to expect a cut of 15% of managers. I ended up being one of them.

Which sux.

I have fortunately been through this before. Fortunate in that I know what to emotionally expect not only from myself but from others as well. Hence I am familiar with the suckiness of the situation - a situation one never grows used to. many find transitions to be difficult. A job transition is near the top of the list. Forty hours a week being being pulled from under your feet - the differing levels of stability that goes with it - really fux with one's ego.

It's been two weeks. My mind continues to work in overdrive. The thoughts - the things I dwell on - change from day to day and sometimes minute to minute. Those thoughts run the gamut. Stress, relief, sadness, anger, dread. Everything. It is exceedingly difficult for one to escape this thoughts. It keeps licensed establishments in business during the afternoon for sure.

One of the biggest voids is the removal of regular interaction with people. A good chunk of my friend base (and most people I suppose) were acquired through work. Some I won't miss to be sure and I have already forgotten them. Others I miss dearly. These friendships are in fact forever changed. Maintaining these relationships is suddenly a formidable task.

I met up with a number of my peer friends last week. It is very similar to going to one's own funeral. In situations like these I end up having to manage my friends. Half of them tell you everything will be OK. the other half need reassurance. I am fortunate to have the number and diversity within my friend base. (I in fact have a draft post kicking around where I discuss my fortunes from a friend perspective. Perhaps now I'll have time to finish it off).

As dirty as it sounds, I need to manage my friend Rolodex more than ever. The ones I can utilise for support, I will. They will not be allowed out of my sight. Those with a good network will also be kept close. Some I will inevitably let drift away. Our paths perhaps will cross again.

So two weeks in, the initial shock has been replaced with a lingering dread.

And so begins a new phase in my life.

Categories: Friends, Life, Work

My Zippo

2008-07-13T11:13:00.004-04:00

Here's a shot of my current Zippo:

I've had it for two or three years. It was manufactured in January 05 in any event.

I purchased it to replace another black one, which was complete with a bumpy finish. (Zippo calls it "Crackle.")

I really liked it and had it since 2002. It is the first Zippo I owned in years. A little metal piece (called a cam spring) broke off, so the lid didn't stay closed anymore. Zippos come with a lifetime guarantee. I decided change is a good thing, so I bought my current model instead of bothering to send it in.

A very good friend Riz got me a zippo for my birthday in '04.

The JD was significant in that my friend and I had recently taken JD shots - something I hadn't done for a very long time because of a drinking event that included JD back in 1990. I loved the sound that this Zippo makes; a more solid sound due to the JD metal overlay.

I lost this lighter on Pride Weekend in '05. Michael (my Haunt's favourite bartender) and I were in the back alley. He felt I was irrationally attached to the friend who had given me the lighter, and for my "own good" skidded it under a fence complete with barbed wire, ensuring it and I were parted forever.

Interestingly, Michael and I are still friends and I haven't heard from Riz in ages.

My first Zippo was a mini. A gift from my sister for Christmas when I was 16 or 17. The hinge eventually broke on it. It sported a major dent on one of the corners, a dent it obtained only a week after I got it.

A friend from school was having a New Years' party at her apartment, which was next to our school. She ended up clearing the place out at about 11:40 because things were getting a little out of hand. About 4 or 5 of us took our liquor, and ended up ringing in the new year in the smoking area at school.

We were walking past the friend's building, and heard a female yelling from her balcony near the top floor. She was wishing us a Happy New Years. We returned the sentiment, and was then invited up to her place.

As soon as we got in her apartment, I knew something was amiss with this young lady. She kept saying repeatedly, "Don't tell my mother you guys came over." The poor thing had a bat or two in the rafters.

We quietly organised our retreat, this being a drawn-out affair as one of us decided he could 'get lucky.' In any event, she went into the kitchen and we made our escape.

We were in front of the building again when I realised I left my smokes - and my Zippo - in the apartment. I needed to go back. My friends told me to leave it, but I just got the lighter as a gift.

Just then, a voice from the balcony cried down, "You forgot your cigarettes"

She threw them off the balcony. I went to pick them up, suddenly remembering I hadn't kept the Zippo in the pack. The next thing I new, a mere few inches from me, my Zippo ricocheted off of the sidewalk.

And hence the dent.

Categories: Breeders, Haunt, Life, Party

Photo Mosaic

2008-07-13T10:02:00.002-04:00

I totally stole this off of Sean's blog:

1. type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. copy and paste each of the url’s for the images into big huge lab’s mosaic maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.
1. what is your first name?
2. what is your favorite food? right now?
3. what high school did you go to?
4. what is your favorite color?
5. who is your celebrity crush?
6. what is your favorite drink?
7. what is your dream vacation?
8. what is your favorite dessert?
9. what do you want to be when you grow up?
10. what do you love most in life?
11. what is one word that describes you?
12. what is your flickr name?

Categories: Life

Friday Feast #196

2008-07-13T09:05:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
When was the last time you had your hair cut/trimmed?
On July 1st I got a trim. Usually get one every couple months. I don't do anything exciting with may hair as I don't have much, and I have no patience. Ten minutes is my limit. I went next door to my usual place at Church and Wellesley. The guy told me I'm handsome, and asked if he could trim my chest hair.

Soup
Name one thing you miss about being a child.
Summer vacation.

Salad
Pick one: butter, margarine, olive oil.
I have to go with butter; it was a staple growing up. I tend to use more margarine than butter just for the health considerations.

Main Course
If you could learn another language, which one would you pick, and why?
French. It is a definate asset in Toronto, and will give me the ability to move to Montreal.

Dessert
Finish this sentence: In 5 years I expect to be…
43

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #195

2008-07-02T23:21:00.001-04:00

Appetizer

What is the weather like today where you live?

It is overcast with a few light showers; should be a decent day windy and 26

Soup

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how career-minded are you?

I've been puttering around as of late and give myself a 7. I'm in the process of bumping that up - to be successful you need to be at least a 9.

Salad

What type of window coverings do you have in your home? Blinds, curtains, shutters, etc.?

Cheap blinds in the bedrooms and vertical blinds in the living room. I want to change them but can't decide between curtains or blinds.

Main Course

Name something that instantly cheers you up.

I'm more complex than that! Something as simple as a chocolate bar usually does the trick, though.

Dessert

How many times do you hit the snooze button on a typical morning?

I go through a cycle with this. I have two alarms set, one 20 minutes after the first. I then hit snooze once on the second alarm. About once a month I make a full-out effort to just get up with the first alarm (it's better if you do) and manage to do so for a few days.

Categories: Feast

Sounds of the City

2008-06-22T09:29:00.003-04:00

Southbound train at Bloor station. Friday June 13th 16:42

Passenger, coming into the train: "Is this the Eastbound train?"
Second passenger: "I don't know."
Third passenger: "This is actually the Southbound train."
First passenger, moving further into the train: "Oh, good."

I have no idea what all of this means. How can you not know what direction you're going? I can only figure out that the second passenger was in fact the first passenger, but stuck in some sort of space-time continuum conundrum. Or that she's a typical, self-centered Torontonian.

Categories: Heard, Transit

Friday Feast #194

2008-06-22T09:11:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
If you could live on another continent for 1 year, which one would you choose?
I think Australia is the obvious answer, but I'd have to consider all of the continents. Because it's for a year, I'd likely go to Europe.

Soup
Which browser do you use to surf the Internet?

I have to live with IE at work, but use FireFox for my personal surfing. I don't know anyone who doesn't like FireFox, but I know a lot of people who hate IE.

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how much do you know about the history of your country?

I think I'm on the high end of average and therefore give myself a 6. I have an interest in Canadian history and am starting to acquire the books to prove it.

Main Course
Finish this sentence: Love is…

the all-consuming essence of our being.

Dessert
Have you ever been in or near a tornado?

No.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #193

2008-06-22T08:58:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
Do you consider yourself to be an optimist or a pessimist?

I'm a pretty pessimistic sort of guy. I must be really annoying to hang around with.

Soup
What is your favorite color of ink to write with?

My preference is black.

Salad
How often do you get a manicure or pedicure? Do you do them yourself or go to a salon and pay for them?

OMG, I'm not that gay.

Main Course
Have you ever won anything online? If so, what was it?

The online world has not provided me with anything. She's just hungry for my time.

Dessert
In which room in your house do you keep your home computer?

In the dining room. I'm in the market for a computer desk for the corner of my living room. But that means rearranging the furniture. I've been waiting for it to rearrange itself.

Categories: Feast

Today's Free Item

2008-06-09T21:15:00.002-04:00

Went to the Loblaws for a few things on the weekend.

The Cottage Cheese price still isn't fixed. So I scored another one.

This time I had to wait quite a while for the price check. I had plenty of time to come up with the idea of simply taking a picture of the shelf label with my cell phone next time. I know I shouldn't complain about the wait, because after all, I'm getting the item for free. But hell, I think that clerk was the only person in the store that didn't know the shelf label was wrong.

Categories: Retail

Friday Feast #192

2008-06-09T21:00:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
I love drinking pop out of glass bottle. The only time I pour it in a glass (assuming the pop is drinking size) is to mix with Rum. Other than that, I drink it out of the very vessel that transported it to my mouth.

Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
I typically stay up later than I should anyway. If it's on too late, I program my trusty VCR.

Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
I think Runescape is brilliant.

Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
I would do it for the 4 day week. I take transit. 'Nuff said.

Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
A geek.

Categories: Feast

City of Towers

2008-05-24T19:13:00.004-04:00

You may be surprised to know that after New York, Toronto has more high rise buildings than any other city in North America.

I am intrigued by the history of Toronto's development and growth. Toronto is indeed a city of towers, sometimes in the most unexpected locales. How could a plan to build 5, 25-story apartment buildings in the middle of a field get approved by Council?

Apartment buildings nearing completion at York Mills (foreground) and Leslie.
In the distance are two towers that stand at the DVP and York Mills.

The housing plan after WWII promoted this. A very simple plan - meet the increased demand for housing without urban sprawl.

Some 50 years ago, Canada's first planned community was built. The Don Mills development included houses, low-rise apartments, schools, churches, a community centre and post office. In the middle was a shopping centre. All of it planned before a shovel hit the dirt. It remains a desirable community with a decent density and maintains its manufactured charm.

Don Mills also showed no one should be afraid of developments that are conceived by an investor and involve large parcels of farmland within "Metro." If one can successfully build out, why not build up?

There was a market for housing, and a market for rental lifestyle properties as well. How cosmopolitan is it to live 20 stories above the city? Trés, I say, trés.

The 60's saw a boom in tower construction. In the 'burbs, the typical land requirements allowing for up to 60% of the property to be green - essentially parkland. The result was tower developments "in parks" suited for the middle class. Developments such as Flemingdon Park, Thorncliffe Park, Bathurst and Steeles, northern Keele and Jane St, the Peanut and Crescent Town went up at a dizzying pace.

The towers of Flemingdon Park, with Thorncliffe Park in the background.

The core city of Toronto was not immune. The St. Jamestown development was a classic example of urban living for urban professionals. The primary difference being developments in Toronto were on previously developed land and therefore did not have near the same green space. St Jamestown remains one of the most densely populated communities in North America. Over 700 residents per hectare, compared to about 225 for the other communities listed above.

Some of St. Jamestown's 19 apartment high rises.

Categories: Buildings, Toronto, Urban, Space

Friday Feast #76

2008-05-24T18:48:00.002-04:00

The Feast is currently on vacation; I've snatched one from January 13th 2006.

Appetizer
Name one chore you don't really mind doing.
I don't mind doing the laundry and ironing.

Soup
How many times have you moved homes in your life?
I'm a military brat, so quite a few - 7 times. I've been at my current address from 15 years; befor ethat the longest I was at one home was 4.

Salad
How old were you when you had your very first kiss?
I think I was 12. It was behind the garage with my neighbour Clair. this was at home number 4. I used to have a crush on her.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel your best?
Typically early evening. My body takes a while to warm up to peak operating efficiency. I'm a write-off in the morning.

Dessert
Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.
Beautiful Spring day.

Categories: Feast

Today's Free Item

2008-05-24T18:37:00.003-04:00

Stopped by Loblaw's today to get a few items.

No Name Cottage Cheese was marked $1.99 and scanned in at $2.19. I had no issues getting the refund - the gent at customer service didn't even do a price check as he already knew about this error. Apparently Loblaw's would rather give it away than fix the price.

I was by the Sobeys yesterday but the manager wasn't there. I am sad to report two things: The cookies are now marked at the correct price. And the hotdogs that I thought I got for 20 cents less than the shelf price were actually marked $2.99, so I missed out on free hotdogs. I'll get a pack next time I'm in to make up for it.

Categories: Retail

Cookie Update

2008-05-22T22:02:00.003-04:00

I received a response today from Sobeys regarding my correspondence thanking them for the free cookies:

Hello Ian,

Thank you for contacting Sobeys Customer Care to share with us your shopping experience at the Sobeys Express Yonge Street store.

I have shared your comments with Mr. [x], the store manager franchisee and have also forwarded your contact information. He would welcome the opportunity to discuss your concerns with you personally. Our Store Managers appreciate being able to speak with customers directly regarding any concerns as this provides the opportunity for them to fulfill our promise of making it right for our customers. [the manager] will contact you in the next few days.

Again we regret this experience and hope you will give us a chance to regain your confidence in Sobeys.

The manager left me a voicemail today, welcoming me to call him or to "drop by and chat." It was actually a very welcoming message. He said a few things that stood out. He agreed directly that the pricing isn't where it should be and they would address this immediately although it would take some time. He also hopes I won't be able to get the cookies for free next time I'm in.

This is a far cry from the typical response I receive. As a regular reader, you're accustomed to my rants in this regard.

Overall, the service at Sobeys has always exceeded the competition. On the East Coast (where Sobeys owns the market), the service is insane. I was at a location in Charlottetown where every employee I passed acknowledged me in some way, usually with a "hello". Every retailer trains this technique (besides providing a good customer experience, an acknowledged customer is less likely to shoplift) - Sobeys seems to master it.

I'll be near the store tomorrow so I'll ask to speak to the manager.

And yes, I'll tell him which cookies I'm getting for free since he was good enough to acknowledge me.

Categories: Retail

The VE-Day Riots

2008-05-21T22:08:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous post (a funny post if I do say so myself), Halifax booms during war.

I asked Mom for a book about the VE-Day Riots that occurred in that fair city on May 7th and 8th 1945.

She gave me as a gift Sailors, Slackers and Blind Pigs - Halifax at War by Stephen Kimber. It's proven to be a really good read.

In short, two things happened during these two dark days: The Navy Sailors were given open gangway (they could come and go off the ships as they pleased), and the LC was closed. In essence, a can of crazy was opened. The Sailors looted the liquor stores and went gangbusters downtown smashing and burning as they went. The next day, the wet canteen ran out of beer in the early afternoon. The sailors made their way to the Keith's brewery en masse. They were given access to the beer in order to save the brewery - the Sailors (and others, let's be fair) managed to distribute over 100,000 quart bottles of beer. The result was over 200 looted stores and some 2500 broken windows.

I told you they know how to party in Halifax.

The CBC Archives has a great story marking the 40th anniversary. Give it a look!

Categories: Canada, History

Today's Free Item

2008-05-20T19:04:00.003-04:00

I stopped by that Sobey's Express today to pick up a couple items, and got another free bag of cookies.

Here's the e-mail I sent to Sobey's:

I would like to take a moment to thank you for the free cookies I've been receiving from the store at 530 Yonge St in Toronto.

A couple weeks ago, I purchased a bag with two shelf tags indicating they are $2.99. They scanned in at $3.49, and I was courteously given a prompt refund under the Code of Practice.

Today they are still marked $2.99 and still scan in at $3.49 and I'm still getting them free.

By the way, the hot dogs I purchased today scanned in at $3.29 (marked $3.49) and the crackers $3.29 instead of $3.39. The bread scanned in correctly, so your pricing accuracy on my shopping trip was 25%.

I've decided not to tell you specifically what cookies I'm getting for free as it's obvious to me there is a need for a store-wide price audit at this location.

In the meantime, my plan is to supplement my food bank donation with your free cookies until you no longer have any in stock or finally fix the price.

Sweet.

Categories: Retail

Friday Feast #191

2008-05-18T18:00:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
What is the nearest big city to your home?

A better question would be what the nearest small town is.

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?

I'm not necessarily the best secret keeper. But I'll give myself a 9.

Salad
Describe your hair (color, texture, length).

Dirty blonde, fine and thinning.

Main Course
What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?

I don't drive much, but I'm fairly courteous.

Dessert
When was the last time you had a really bad week?

I was asked once in an interview what my worst day was. My reply: I don't think I've had it yet. In any event, I've had some rough ones this year, from Jan-Mar.

Categories: Feast

The Summer of '84

2008-05-10T09:53:00.006-04:00

Ah, what a summer.

It was the summer that everything changed - I just finished Grade 9 and was due for High School. And we moved to da T dot O.

Grade 9 was awesome, particularly on the outside of school. Brian had moved to town the summer before; we were best friends even before the first class in Grade 9. We fortunately were in the same class, and hung out on weekends.

I met Brian through Lisa. Lisa and I started hanging out since we were both always at the mall. That was probably a year before Brian showed up on the scene. Lisa was the biggest tomboy I've ever known before or since. The Poor thing wasn't the brightest and typically didn't have two clicks to make a clue. And forget social grace.

She was cool.

I started smoking because of her, for example.

Ok, now that you've been introduced, I shall recount a 24 hour period starting on a Tuesday in July 1984, about a week before the Move.

I hooked up with Lisa in the early afternoon. She invited me to go up to the Howyes'* on the mountain. The plan was to go up there with booze to meet up with one of the daughters, have a few swigs, then come back to town. (Lisa warned me not to ask to go to the washroom when we were there, as they didn't have one).
*Not their real name to protect the washroomless.

Lisa and I bought a 2 litre bottle of 7-Up and immediately started chugging it to make room in the bottle. We then rode to her place (Bikes are awesome when you're a kid) and started pouring liquor into the 7-Up from her parent's cabinet. Off to my place to do the same. A bit from each bottle. I had great parents because they didn't drink at home. This meant they wouldn't notice some booze missing. I was a very fortunate child.

We spent the rest of the afternoon just chilling, not sure what we were actually up to, but eventually ended up in the mall. We were still lugging around the Wades shopping bag which contained the bottle. We stopped by to say 'hi' to Lisa's mom. Lisa unfortunately had to stay in that evening for whatever reason.

Across from the mall and down a bit was a nice-sized field which had really one purpose - to cut through to go somewhere else. This was evidenced by the paths that ran through it. Lisa and I chilled out there for awhile. Eventually it was time for us to part ways. All that was left was to settle who would take care of the bottle.

Either of us could have taken it and hidden it at our respective houses. There was however one catch. Lisa didn't trust me, and I didn't trust her. After some debate, we decided we would leave the bottle where we were. Close to the bath was an Evergreen with branches down to the ground. We concealed the Wades bag under that tree.

After dinner, I went to the elementary school to hang out at the playground with Brian. We ended up getting into a fight about something stupid, and he left (he later admitted he was just mad I was moving away). After he left, I continued hanging with three teens at the playground.

There was one girl I knew from my newspaper carrier job. I at that time was the Head Carrier, a responsibility on its own as I was responsible for delivering the pay envelopes to the other carriers. I got an extra dollar for doing this. Hanging out with here were two brothers that I had never met before. They were visiting from New Brunswick, were around my age, and possessed the same rebellious streak I was developing. They were smokers, for example. And they were cute. They were in town to visit their grandparents, who lived at the end of my street.

The sun eventually set and the streetlights came on. This was the standard indicator for many that they needed to go home. The girl did, post haste. That left me with the two brothers, mulling what we should get up to. One mentioned it would be really cool to get drunk; too bad we didn't have booze.

Off we went to the field, the boys becoming more optimistic as I recounted the days' events. By the time we got to the field the sky was dark and starting to cloud over. There was distant lightning giving a spectacular show in the sky.

We all took turns chugging the swill from the bottle. As we stood there drinking, smoking and cavorting, my tone turned serious. For I would seriously get in shit with Lisa. It wouldn't be a stretch even for her to realise I stole the booze. There was no puddle for which to refill the bottle. I insisted that we don't drink it all. Perhaps we could go to the Handy Stand, buy pop, and refill the bottle. As we discussed our options, one of the boys said, "I'll be right back. I'm just gonna take a leak."

We took turns refilling the bottle. My thoughts were passing at a dizzying rate. I was already feeling a buzz. I was concerned that Lisa would not fall for this as we certainly didn't have enough liquid in our reserves to compensate for what we took. I was intrigued at the excellent glimpse of both the brothers' ding dongs this solution afforded me.

We spent the balance of the long evening enjoying the outcome of our trek to the field. Curfew came soon enough; we made plans to meet late the next morning to hang out some more.

Morning came too quickly. After popping some Tylenol, I had to make my way to meet my replacement paper carrier. This would be my last week after about two years, to deliver the paper. I had 130 houses for which I received 3 cents per paper and a penny per flyer. The new kid was to shadow me to get to know the route.

I met with the kid, gave him the papers and the bag, pointed out to him the route, and told him good luck. For I had plans with the cool kids and couldn't concern myself any further with this young bloke.

Later in the afternoon, I met up with Lisa. She wanted to go reclaim the Wades Bag and its contents. She was concerned if we left it there too long, it would be found and we would be out our hard-earned nectar.

Of we went to the field. With every step I was feeling more apprehensive. I suddenly realized I did not have a sufficient plan to compensate for the fact the bottle was full of piss. Lisa pulled the bag out from under the tree, took the bottle out and gave it a quick inspection. She didn't seem to notice it wasn't as full as the day before. Phew.

"I'm thirsty. Do you want to have a swig with me?"
"Um, OK. You go first."

Lisa opened the bottle and helped herself to a healthy swig. I was frozen in fear. Lisa took another swig. This time, she spat it out in disgust.

"I think it went bad in the sun."

I took a smell of the contents, and agreed with her that the sun must have made our concoction sour.

She poured it out.

A sense of relief filled my body. As did the realization I would never be as cool as Lisa.

Categories: Friends, Life, Urbanless

Friday Feast #190

2008-05-10T09:40:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
Yes I do. In fact, I occasionally (and this may surprise you) like to be the smile initiator, especially with strangers. Typically I will receive a smile in return. I guess I'm a bit of a control freak.

Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
I have been in the process - over the last 5 years - of removing the wall-to-wall carpeting in my pad. Underneath is poorly maintained parkay with even more abysmal tiles in the hallway. But anything beats 18-year-old pink carpet.

Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
In introspect, Isabel is icky.

Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
My father was adopted by, to my limited understanding, were a couple of slackers.

Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
My couch and my bike.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #189

2008-05-06T23:09:00.002-04:00

Appetizer
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
It would have to be Loony Toons. I have a DVD set and have a new appreciation for the humour as an adult.

Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
It would definately be a cat. The name comes with the personality I think. I definitely wouldn't name it something stupid like Mookie

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
9. I clean up good.

Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
I don't drive, I take transit. I listen to whatever the juvenile on the bus is listening to, wondering how long it will be before he goes deaf.

Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
I bought a clock radio a couple months ago and put it interestingly enough in my bedroom. I am contemplating getting a number of clocks and putting them on one wall. I wish now that I had done that already, which would have made for a much cooler answer.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #188

2008-05-06T22:58:00.002-04:00

OK, I've missed a few of these. I shall provide two in a row in a lazy attempt to make up for it:

Appetizer
Name something you would categorize as weird.
Uploading a video of oneself to Xtube that includes the following tags: cum; masturbation; sneaker.

Soup
What color was the last piece of food you ate?
Light pink and red.

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy being alone?
9. I have no issues being alone, and typically enjoy it. I'm very good at being alone at home and in public.

Main Course
Fill in the blank: I will _________ vote for ___________ in _______.
What is this, the Match Game?

Dessert
Describe your sleeping habits.
I prefer to be cool over warm. I must have a pillow to hug, and sleep on my side. I apparently snore, and have concerned the occasional bed-mate with my extended periods of not breathing.

Categories: Feast

Today's Free Item

2008-05-06T22:42:00.003-04:00

I ventured into the Sobey's Express downtown on Yonge yesterday in search of ice cream. I ventured down the cookie aisle and came across this:

At $2.99, I thought this would compliment (get it?) my tea quite nicely. The only thing that would go better than chocolate chunk cookies are free chocolate chunk cookies.

They scanned at $3.49.

Unlike the absolute frustration I've faced in the past at Loblaws, The cashier took my word for it without checking the shelf price, provided a full refund, and apologised for the error.

I actually felt a little guilty. It shall pass. And if you pass by Sobey's stop in for a free bag of cookies.

Categories: Retail

Back in My Day...

2008-05-04T16:39:00.002-04:00

I was surfing through Yahoo! Answers. It's a website where you can post a question for other users to answer - usually inaccurately.

I came across this question:

"whats the length of term and a few responsibilities for the premier of ontario, senator of ontario, mayor of london, member of provincial parliment, and member of parliment??"

This is obviously for a school assignment. Kids are so lazy these days. And slack. They seem to be getting more stupid as well.

Back in my day, I didn't have the luxury of the `net. I'd have to go the library to get the answers. If the internet was around back then, I would have loved the convenience of surfing around to do research.

This lazy, fat-ass, Xbox playing slacker little snot is too lazy to even do that. He'd rather post the question for someone else to answer then look it up himself.

Without the courtesy of knowing how to spell and use capitalization.

By the way, here's the answer someone posted: "who cares about canada...seriously, learn about a real government"

Categories: Idiots, People

I'm Back.

2008-05-04T16:33:00.002-04:00

Hey All: Been a while. My hibernation was great, thanks.

Someone finally noticed I wasn't updating my blog. I was touched; only took him 7 months to notice.

Summer is over.

2007-09-04T21:09:00.000-04:00

I was at the Haunt on Sunday when it happened. With every Labour Day weekend comes that familiar dread that Summer is over. To this day - nearly a couple decades out of High School - I feel the need to run out and buy a pair of cords just before Labour Day.

So back at work today, I waited for that sign that school is back. I left my apartment and confronted a kid obstacle course. Not enough.

The bus was late and carried more than usual. But I got a seat, and traffic flowed. Not enough.

My boss is back from vacation. Obviously not enough.

In my mailbox are McDonald's coupons.

Bingo!

I have come to realise that McDonald's spits out coupons every September. It's as if They realise it's a new year, and a new time to instill new habits. They're good deals. Things like "Buy a thousand calories in food and we'll give you another 750 for free."

The coupon brochure is a marketing charm. A picture of a hand holding a Big Mac, with "$40 of coupons in the palm of your hand."

This of course reminds me of my Buddy from ago who had just immigrated from South Africa. A country that at the time did not have a McDonald's, but did have magazines with Big Mac ads.

He of course made his way early on to an outlet to have one of them there impressive Big Macs.

According to him, he opened the container and upon seeing its contents exclaimed, "What the fuck is this?" We never ate at McDonald's the whole time we hung out. I doubt he has to this day. For the Big Mac is not big.

He would appreciate these coupons. And the size of the hand holding the Big Mac. That guy's fingers are longer than some guys' dicks.

By the way, have you ever noticed how Ad Burgers at McDonald's always have lettuce leaves, yet they only serve shredded lettuce on the real thing?

Categories: Friends, Life

Police Blotter

2007-08-08T23:28:00.000-04:00

As just posted, I have been surfing the RCMP call reports as published in each issue of the local paper.

I present you with some of my favourites:

Police were called to report a man walking drunk along Commercial St. in New Minas.
At 3:04 a.m. police were called to report horses walking single file down the middle of the main road into Canning. Upon arrival, police ensured the horses were walking on the correct side of the street.
Someone spraypainted a van in Aylesford and then put brown sugar in the gas tank.
A wheelbarrow was stolen in Lockhartville.
A driver left a gas station on Aldershot Rd. in north Kentville without paying for his gas at 12:44 p.m. The man later returned to the gas station and paid for the $10 worth of fuel.
A theft of beer was reported at 12:04 a.m. last Wednesday when a man left Dooley’s in Berwick with an open beer in his pocket. When confronted, the man denied the bottle’s existence.
There were five domestic incidents, including a woman who slapped her ex-husband in the testicles. The man did not wish to press charges and refused medical attention.
A Berwick resident complained of wiper blades disappearing of his vehicle and was assured it was ravens.
An on-going problem with youth not wearing helmets at the skate park in New Minas was received.
A Sunnyside Road resident of Greenwich reported finding a bottle of urine in his mailbox.
An RCMP cruiser was spray painted in Berwick and various other cases of vandalism were noted.
A prom party in Harbourville attracted between 300 and 400 youth. The host called police about 11:30 p.m. fearing a fight. Officers attended, but refused to “babysit the event” and warned those attending they would be on the lookout for impaired drivers.At 8:32 a.m., police were called back to the party in Harbourville, where a young man was smashing himself on the head with beer bottles. He was arrested since he could not be calmed down.
At 12:51 a.m. June 16, a Coldbrook resident reported drunken neighbours stealing wood for a bonfire.
“Roy the koi” was reported stolen from the pond at the Country Store in Coldbrook.
A man who got the boot from a liquor establishment in Greenwood fell and hurt his head at 1:45 a.m.
A balding female driver was observed coming out of the Kingston liquor store at 2 p.m. and nearly hitting six vehicles.
At a dirt bike race in Auburn, a bike crashed, going through a fence and hitting several spectators. No one was injured. The driver apologized, got on the bike and continued the race.
Three chubby kids were supposedly stealing golf balls at Ken-Wo Golf Course in New Minas at 5:39 p.m.
A possible impaired driver in Port Williams turned out instead to be a poor driver after police stopped him at 2:30 a.m.
A Campbell Rd. resident of north Kentville reported a hazardous material was found on his doorknob. The material was a condom.
Two cows were reported missing in Grafton at 1 p.m.

Categories: Urbanless

Small Town News

2007-08-08T23:01:00.000-04:00

My sis was good enough to send me a link to an article from the local paper where we used to live Out East.

Yes.

A link to an article online.

So I spent an entire week reading nearly every article at novanewsnow.com. What a thrill! The article by the way was about some sewer engineering documents that had the decimal in the wrong place, which doubles the cost of the project in Kingston.

While living there, and whenever I visit, I make sure to pick up a couple of these locals for the entertainment if nothing else. (I was in the "goings on" section one year, announcing I was visiting)

Give it a surf. If the stories don't give you a chuckle, the writing technique certainly will! I'll give you a couple articles to start you off:

Vandalism turns over new leaf
West Kentville residence sullied by dumping of 65 bags of leaves

I was a young teenager in the Valley. I can vouch that there is nothing to do there. So, I can see myself as a 14 year old with my friends, collecting 65 bags of leaves from the neighbourhood and dumping them on some poor fool's yard. The highlight:

The man said he has no idea who would do such a thing, but he hopes the person or people responsible will come forward. He said at least seven homes had bags of leaves stolen from them and these homeowners have been affected and violated by the incident as well. “It affected the whole subdivision in a negative way."

Worst winter ever
'I'm 61 and I don't need this crap'

You'll just have to click on the link to truly appreciate this one.

Categories: Links, Urbanless

I'm still kicking around

2007-07-15T10:40:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while - I hope your scars will fade, gentle fans.

I feel compelled to share this.

These folks being from Cape Breton notwithstanding, did you make fun of them when you saw this ad? Were you embarrassed for them? This, my friends, is East Coast.

And this is Sydney. The second half is brilliant.

My Point? We need to get over ourselves.

Categories: Canada

Do you have an Allen Wrench?

2007-06-11T19:48:00.000-04:00

You may recall this story last week, of a poor baby that fell through his apartment window. This is terrible and saddening news indeed. And seemingly common in Toronto.

A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to get new screens after another kid fell to his death. As it is now Toronto regulation that high rise apartment windows have fixed window stops, I knew it would only be a matter of days before my Super would be coming by to inspect windows as a result.

Today was the day. I officially can't open my window more than 10 Cm.

Until I get my hands on an Allen Wrench.

Categories: Neighbourhood

State of Good Repair

2007-06-07T20:15:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with Vic. She has just completed her first week with a MetroPass in a very long time. She recently had her car totalled. She's decided not to replace it until her schedule picks up in the Fall.

"It's hard going back on the bus, isn't it?" I asked her.

I don't drive. I don't see the need to carry the expense. In fact, I am sans license. It has become very trendy these days for folks to declare publicly they take the bus for the sake of the environment. From a Carbon Credit point of view, my non-ownership of a vehicle allows me to throw Mookie's food cans into the regular garbage without guilt.

I have had periods of time in my life where a car came with the relationship. So I know how hard it is to go back on the system.

The most noticeable thing Vic noticed was the increase in new buses with air conditioning. And how things still don't work on the Sheppard Line. The escalators are a particular nightmare with the same ones either not working or closed for overhaul for months on end. And automatic doors that never worked right since the line was opened.

Of course I know this is because of lack of funding. With a dash of flat out poor workmanship and a measure of stupidity.

So I was pleased to come across this:

This is the_mkt's shot of automatic sliding doors that were 'recently' installed at St Clair station. Taken on April 9th, this is Day 166 of his flickr account of how long it takes the TTC to install an automatic door. Today is day 223, for your information.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

I'll leave you with a tip from Vic: In the morning, if you want to go South from Sheppard station, go North instead. You're guaranteed to get a seat once you get to Finch and will only cost you a few minutes.

Categories: Transit, Links

The weekly flyers

2007-05-25T22:15:00.000-04:00

Several years ago, I started receiving a plastic bag full of flyers, left conveniently hanging on my door knob every Friday or Saturday.

Now, I'm not a flyer kind of guy. And the local newspaper that is supposed to be in the bag never is. When I'm away for the weekend, everyone knows it from the simple fact the bag is hanging there. I typically end up throwing the works out in the garbage can as I leave my building.

Many moons ago, I bought and affixed a sign to my door asking not to leave junk mail. This addressed the problem probably only half the time.

As luck would have it, a few weeks ago I was leaving my apartment to see a handsome young man coming out of the elevator with a buggy of these stupid bags. He held the elevator for me.

"Do you want to come in for a couple of drinks?" I asked in my mind.

"I live in that apartment right there," I actually said.
"Yeah"
"I'm not sure how much you get to deliver that stupid bag for me each week. Here's ten bucks not to."
"Cool, thanks. No problem"

There hasn't been a flyer hanging off my door knob ever since.

And sadly, no sign of the strapping young man either.

Categories: Neighbourhood

Lots of Vision

2007-05-24T22:36:00.000-04:00

If you are more hip than me (and the odds have it you are), you've probably heard of Twitter. The concept is to leave one line descriptions of what you are currently doing. I simply don't get it. What i get less is Twittervision. It provides a geographic location of where these losers are that are participating in Twitter.

Well, the vision guy has come up with something that even I think is cool. flickrvision. Same concept, except it shows pictures recently uploaded to flickr. Kinda of like watching pictures being developed in the window of Japan Camera.

Finally, for a glance of what's going on in the news, this is a good cloud.

Categories: Links

Burger King

2007-05-23T22:59:00.000-04:00

I'm on Duty at work this week. This means I cover off another part of the operation on evenings and on Saturday. I'm on call until Monday. Now, as you know I deal with boxes. This part of the operation deals with trucks and ladders. It's really sexy actually.

As much as I know and love boxes, I don't know the first friggn' thing about trucks and ladders.

Shit, my life in the form of a paradox.

In any event, the week totally kills me because of the hours and the workload. Plus I don't have the two fundamental clicks needed to make a clue when it comes to anything related to anything I'm supposedly managing.

They give me a Blackberry. It's an amazing invention! Every time it vibrates, I'm invited down a path to Hell.

It means either:

a) I have received an e-mail that conveys a message that even though it makes sense, I have no fucking idea what it means, much less know what I should do about it.

b) It is someone I don't know calling. (In these cases I just let it go to voicemail, to give me time to figure out what the hell to do about what they want)

I don't know why people actually like carrying them. Losers.

And then there are the real people. I have no clue what their names are, or what they do. Occasionally they actually come to me and ask me questions. It usually goes like this:

"Are you Ian?"
"Yes."
"There's this job and it was gonna be Xsomething as Xother. But now it's LTR."
"And?"
"Well, what should I do?"
"What do you think you should do?"
"Um, I was thinking of ping on it, but I know it is dark out."
"Do you think p-ing on it is the smart thing to do?"
"I think so."
"You're probably right. Go ahead."

I usually get bitchy after only a couple days of this. Really bitchy. Even Mookie is avoiding me at this point.

The only thing that got me through to the end of the shift today was the knowledge that today is Whopper Wednesday. The bus in front of work conveniently stops in front of a Burger King. Ian deserves a break today! (get it?)

It was a memorable experience. I remember all two things the guy behind the counter said to me. "Next" and "Three seventy-nine."

I stewed in my own surly shit on the subway trip home. Why are these fools not given basic customer service skills? Is it this bad at McDonald's? No, Burger King is worse. By the time I was home firing up the Information Superhighway, I had already drafted in my mind a witty yet honest dispatch for the King.

Technology has evolved to the point a hand held device can cause me instant chaos (and can also tell me what time the LCBO closes while I'm on the bus).

Technology has not however evolved to the point where Burger King provides an electronic means of providing them with feedback (unless you call the 800 number from your cellphone, I suppose).
So no instant gratification for Ian today. You may be happy to know you can apply for a job from their website, right to the store location. You may be equally happy to know that after much pondering, I decided not to hit the 'submit' button.

Monday will come soon enough.

Categories: Work, Life, Rant

The Smoke Detector

2007-05-07T20:36:00.000-04:00

With every Spring comes the annual fire alarm testing. The Landlord has been good at upgrading the building along with new Fire Code requirements over the years. So for several years they have been inspecting and replacing the smoke detector battery on the day they test the fire alarm. I replace it every fall, but ended up replacing it again with the early Daylight Savings Time for some reason.

Fire Alarm Day came last week. As has been the routine for several years I pulled their smoke detector from the closet, dusted it off, and left it on the table near the door for them to hopefully haul off.

I had replaced it - all by myself - because it was getting old and I preferred the other type. For $20 I didn't feel like filling out a work order to get a new one, which may still have been the other type. (If you don't know what I mean about "types," I suggest you give this a read.)

I worked from home as originally planned on Fire Alarm Day to better take care of a couple errands mid-day. As luck would have it, the Super knocked on the door when I was in the midst of a conference call.

I quickly answered the door. The super grumbles, and in comes some kid with a step ladder and battery. As he attempts to replace the battery, he pulls the smoke detector out of the ceiling. He tells me they need to remount it, and leaves into the hall. The Super at this point has already moved on to the next apartment.

"Ian? Do you agree?"
I hear coming out of the speaker of my Vista 350.
Off I was back to the phone, contemplating my response.
Given the type of meeting this was, I quickly dismissed my "I'm not sure I've fully wrapped my head around this one. Could you restate the question?" tactic, and deployed, "I kind of agree, yes. I'm so close to being bought in I have my wallet in my hand." It worked.

That was the last I saw of my smoke detector. And my battery. And my screw, for that matter. I figured they'd be back by 5. Then I figured the Super would consider it an 'emergency' and just come in on Tuesday. I thought of calling on Wednesday, but the Super gets every other Wednesday off, and I never know which it is.

How ironic that in an effort of the Landlord being in compliance with Fire Code, I end up without a working smoke detector.

The irony having worn off, I bought and installed a new one this evening. For 12 bucks it's done. It doesn't make sense to me to pursue what I'm out. After all, if I called today and died in a fire tonight, I'm not going to see any of the settlement.

I may however sell their smoke detector on ebay.

Categories: Neighbourhood, Life

CrackBook

2007-04-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

Georgina, along with Pete, are my smoking circle. It's a triangle really. We also maintain a pretty consistent routine of weekly pints.

G and Pete are on the same work team. I was on that team until I got fed up with the bullshit and got a new job on a different floor. Now I put up with different bullshit. When I think about it, when I'm taking a smoke break to get away from my BS I get to hear about their BS, which is my old BS. No wonder I think my head's going to explode after I smoke.

So G started working at our office - and moved to da T-dot - about a year ago. She is from a part of the business we (we being everyone but them) refer to as the Dark Side. We talk to her anyway.

Georgina is the one of the biggest losers in my life, in terms of the sheer volume of misplaced items. For example, she typically loses her security pass once per quarter. Last week her wallet was found and returned before she knew it was lost. An amazing feat given her wallet is the size of a brick.

For those interested, on a tonnage basis my friend Effie is in fact the biggest loser, having misplaced her Honda Civic.

In any event, G signed up on Facebook. For the last couple days, every smoke break had a built-in Facebook update. G was basically hooked by our third break.

So I took a look. For those not in the know, I understand Facebook is the new MySpace. It's initial intention was to keep college friends together. This has since been opened up to include workplaces and locations as well. So it's an online social web that you can only be a part of if you're friends with at least one person in it.

The first person I added was G. In the space of a couple days, I now have about 7 confirmed friends. A good deal of my time is consumed browsing through everyone's friends, see. It's fun, with the occasional realisation I'm making it way too easy for people to track me down. But that's just the old in me talking.

Categories: Links, Friends, Work

April Fools?

2007-04-07T11:57:00.000-04:00

Vic and I were talking over breakfast about an AP story in the Star.

According to the story, an amusement park in California has a stern no-screaming policy for its new ride, named The Screamer.

The policy was put into effect on March 29th, a few weeks after the ride opened. The neighbours have been complaining about the noise. Never mind they live on the other side of a 12 lane highway.

Once you give the story a read, I think you agree it comes across as an April Fools' joke. After some research, I am on the fence.

First of all, here's the website for the park in question. It is possible the website is made-up. It is a tragic site to say the least, and appears not to have been updated since August. There is no mention of the new ride. The place does exist, as it can be seen on Google Maps.

I checked out the town's website to see if I can sniff anything there. No mention in their meeting minutes. Council did agree to close some streets to allow for a parade at the start of Little League season however. This of course sways me that the place is hick enough not to tolerate screaming.

I shall continue scanning for news that this is a hoax. In the meantime i shall consider this a publicity stunt for the park.

Categories: Space

Sounds of the City

2007-04-05T00:13:00.000-04:00

On the stairs to the can, the Fox and Firkin, March 14th 21:03

Guy (To friend): Dude, if I could read minds, I'd be getting laid left and right.

Categories: Heard

Kids

2007-04-04T23:43:00.000-04:00

Those who know me know I'm not big on kids. And you probably came to know this with your jaw dropped, listening to my opinions on what should be done with them.

For those who don't know me, I'll give you and example. Public attractions should have specific days in which kids are not allowed. Imagine a day at the zoo without kids. True bliss I tell you!

Another example: Several years ago my household and my sister's household got together and did what we do best - ate out. We went to a buffet restaurant. While waiting to be seated I immediately saw an overabundance of kids. I'm talking Chuck E Cheese kid ratio here.

Hostess: Smoking or none?
Me: Whichever has fewer kids.
Hostess: Umm....
Sister: Yeah, see, it's kind of kids eat free day here today.
Me:
Sister: He wants smoking
Me: You knew this all along!

Nothing like sharing a buffet with a bunch of snotty kids with dirty hands defiling the pizza bar.

Now the major population of Runescape are teens. I share that virtual world getting annoyed because someone who is probably 14 is calling me a 'noob.'

They are more prevalent in the forums. They are easy to find simply based on spelling ability. Apparently at some point in the 90's education spending was reduced by governments - the budget cutbacks resulted in the cessation of the teaching of 10% of the alphabet. And teaching what order they should be used to form words is now nothing more than a high level overview.

This particular forum post stuck out, given the fact there is sentence structure. This post was in response to advice he was given to complete a quest.

Thanks ^_^. I'll try, but atm i'm doing jungle potion. I can play Rs this weekend because my interim grade was a C. yay!^_^

Get this: The kid gets a C, so he's allowed to play Runescape on weekends.

So my virtual and fake world is populated by kids, and not necessarily the smartest ones in the class. I feel like such a perv. I feel like what I thought of the guy who was hanging out in the Chuck E Cheese's bar, sucking down a pint.

All I can hope for is a kid's free Runescape Day. Until then, I still have midnight to dawn.

Categories: Life, Runescape

Transit City

2007-03-21T22:27:00.000-04:00

Back in 1985 the TTC was still in its prime. Ridership was growing (and was higher than today's levels). There were 1800 buses in the fleet, including Trolley Buses. (We should net out at around 1400 buses this year).

For those of you who like foreshadowing, the Scarborough RT opened in March of '85. The TTC wanted a light transit solution, such as a streetcar right-of-way. The province was very clear - we will fund this project, but we want to showcase the government-owned RT technology for the world to drum up business. We'll fund the RT or nothing.

This year also marked the release of the Network 2011 report. It officially listed the transit priorities for Metro Toronto, with a planned completion of (obviously) 2011.

Highlights:
Spadina extension to Downsview (completed)
Sheppard Subway from Downsview to Scarborough Centre (completed Yonge to Don Mills)
Downtown relief subway from Donlands to Union (never started)
Eglinton West subway to Mississauga (Hole was dug, funding was pulled, hole was filled in)

The price tag over 25 years was $5 billion.

Why wasn't this $200 million a year network built? Politics. The Provincial Conservatives you see funded 75% of all subway construction (the TTC entirely funded the original Yonge line) until they lost power in the 80's. The Liberals would not support Transit 2011. The NDP came to power (although to this day I never met on Ontarian who admitted to voting for them), and even though we endured Rae Days during a recession, they committed to Eglinton and Sheppard funding. Then the Conservatives came back to power. They immediately killed two things: Photo Radar and the Eglinton Line. And all transit funding period.

And that's why the legacy of 2011 is a subway between malls and Torontonians riding buses that were bought by the Conservatives in 1983. And eco-friendly trolleys have been off the roads for more than a decade because no one would shell out money to replace the fleet.

So last week, our new transit priorities were released: Transit City.

It addresses transit needs across the city and spans to every corner. It's very simple: 120 km of light rail transit service on right-of-way. It is a 15 year plan with a price of $6.1 billion (or about $400 million a year). It immediately increased capacity compared to the existing routes without emissions. And the ROW improves travel time.

Transit City represents the most dramatic shift in transit thinking that Toronto has ever seen. It does not propose even one km of subway. It recognises that years of not building cannot be made up with a subway solution. I would suggest I will not see (well, after Spadina goes to Vaughan) another subway construction project in my lifetime. It represents logic.

So, the question begs to be asked - why are there funding announcements for a subway when two weeks later, the subway is not a priority? Did Toronto miss the boat on timing? Did Toronto try to secure funding not only for the subway, but also for Transit City? Is funding for Transit City not at risk simply due to the commitments on Spadina? If this was your money (which it is), would you have paid for Spadina or Transit city?

So let's talk about the $2 billion for Spadina. It works out to about $250 million a year until the 8 km extension is built. (if this was rolled into Transit City, and light rail was used, it would cost about $400 million) Keeping in mind I'm using simple math - this money could build 50 km of Transit City in the same time frame. Spadina, and three other lines.

This my friends is where Miller's One Cent campaign comes in. withholding 1% of the GST equals around $450 million a year for Toronto. There are other priorities of course in the city - social housing is a good example. Conceivably however, if the Province were to contribute nothing, securing the 1 cent will pay for Transit City. It will free up (a paltry) $50 million for other city capital priorities. It will reduce the TTCs capital load on buses (the new generation will need to be replaced by the time Transit City is complete). In short, with a commitment of sustainable funding, Transit City could be a reality. Perhaps it will take 20 years instead of 15 - the key is, with sustainable funding it can be planned.

On the current path, we will end up fighting for funding for light rail one line at a time. And the money will flow when the optics are good. Such as an approaching election. Transit in a sustainable city needs to have a sustainable plan. A shiny new Don Mills LRT doesn't matter much when the roof of Bloor station caves in.

The third thing: The Ontario Finance Minister providing funding for Spadina, which will run under his riding. The Provincial election is October 10.

My general philosophy on elections: I don't give a shit what you did, tell me what you're going to do. Eighty percent of Canadians are now urban. I had better be hearing about transit funding, not expressways and not grain subsidies. And certainly not same-sex marriage.

So Pete, there you go. In case you missed it, I do not support a subway extension. If 2011 had been realised - and only then - would this funding make sense.

For more transit information, I refer all to Transit Toronto which you can navigate to from my Links.

For transit opinions, I refer you to Steve Munro's website. (By the way, I haven't read any of Steve's opinions on what I've posted. He likely has a different view - or at least an easier to read one.)

Categories: Transit, Politics, Toronto

Transolotics

2007-03-19T21:09:00.000-04:00

So there's been a lot of transit politicking as of late.

Federally, the Conservatives maintain their minority government, while maintaining a holding pattern for an election. Hell, they even announced AIDS funding.
Provincially, an election is required (under the current government's legislation) to occur in October.
Municipally, we just re-elected a mayor on a platform (namely 1 cent of the GST) he announced during his victory speech.

Mix all of this together, and add a dash of Environmental Awareness and you get a transit concoction.

Let's break it down.

Funding

First off, Toronto's recently approved capital budget gives half to the TTC, and half to the rest of the city. Think about that.

Name a city anywhere in which half of its capital goes towards transit. The other half towards everything else - roads, water mains, community centres, police cars. It simply is not sustainable.

Make no mistake: We are running the most undersubsidised transit system in the world. It is up to Toronto - an no one else - to pay for transit. What do we get for the money? Bare minimum. the budget will buy a bus to replace the 24 year old one that took me home this evening. It won't however cover the cost of paint for the 16 year old bus terminal that hasn't seen maintenance since it opened. You may recall a time when the province picked up 75% of the capital budget tab, and the city the rest. In that era, one still had to kick and scream to get subway extensions and the like, but day-to-day capital flowed. If that formula was in place today, the city commitment to transit capital would be more like 15%

Of note, Toronto refused to pay the capital against security cameras in the system. You may recall my rant about the sliver of $40 million the Feds gave under terrorist security. (One facility, Union Station received about as much as all of the TTC). The good news is the city is pushing this back to the feds. The bad news is our transit system will be no more secure this year. And likely less secure than other major Canadian systems.

The Spadina Subway

There was been talk and assessments for some time with an eye to extend the Spadina subway to York University and beyond. Recently, the 'beyond' was defined as about 3 km into Vaughan. The funding is now in place for this $2 billion extension - the feds dropped by to give a third of the cost. McGuinty ponied up a third, and Toronto and York Region split the other third (notice the Municipal level was still left with 33%, not 25% of this capital expense)

So who benefits once this thing is built? In Toronto, folks who go to York, for school or work. And folks who feel the need to go to Downtown Vaughan - which I presume consists of a big Wal-Mart and a Chapters. In Vaughan on the other hand this benefits everyone who actually works in Toronto.

Peter (the asker of my opinion) lives in York Region and works in Toronto. He also takes transit. His lot in life will be better because presumably there will be a shift of passengers off the Yonge line, which today runs at crush-load capacity in the morning. Pete by the way is a missed demographic with the TTC, but that's a different rant for a different day.

Back on course: Is this truly a transit priority for Toronto? One would think, given it took a decade to get funding to build the Sheppard Subway. I remember a time when what was built as Sheppard was only phase I. It was to stretch to Scarborough. As it stands four years later it is effectively a shuttle between two malls, saves 10 minutes on the commute, and costs the TTC about $2 million more a year to operate that to simply close it and go back to buses. So why is all this money falling on Spadina, in the name of the environment? Why not extend Sheppard, for example?

It seems the last time the Feds paid any attention to Toronto, it was to provide show shoveling services courtesy of the Army. $670 million out of the blue, to get a bunch of punks to York? (The punks of course being the faculty) Is Keele St. in a war torn state? Look, the federal government simply doesn't fund city projects. Unless it's the Centennial. Or the Olympics. Maybe.

There must be a logical connection. How do you get Conservative Feds and Provincial Liberals to separately but mutually support this? Hmmm.

The Logical Connection

Vaughan is a city that thinks it's so slick (probably because Canada's Wonderland is there), it at one time had radio advertising campaigns touting how and why it was better than Toronto. You recall "The city above Toronto, the City of Vaughan" eh? Of course, there was never a mention about how there is no hospital within it's city limits. Vaughan is also in the 905. The 905 typically votes Conservative.

Toronto of course is located at the Centre of the Universe. It has zero representation on the government side of Parliament. We voted Liberal, with a spattering of NDP. (That's a good reason why Harper should have shown up last summer)

So McGuinty paid $650 million to the benefit of the 905ers. Who now may be persuaded to vote Liberal on October 10th.

Harper paid $650 million one would think to the benefit of the 416ers. In case they want to go to Wal-Mart I suppose. This of course will sway some votes. He definitely solidifies the votes in 905 (Further transit funding was announced there). Our dear Harper needs to gain seats in Toronto in order to get a majority.

Is that Logical?

Well, no.

Vote getting aside for a minute, none of this moves us towards sustainable funding. It's still piecemeal. It is political.

Recently Toronto, via Miller, launched the 1 cent campaign - its basis being, give Toronto 1% of GST revenue, or we won't vote for you. Again. This of course isn't targeted to transit funding but rather general municipal funding. This makes Miller's campaign related to transit funding, but really nothing to do with it. Kind of like invading Iraq and relating it to fighting terrorism.

What is logical

You'll need to wait for my next post, where I'll explore what really is the transit priority.

All you need to do in the meantime is remember the following:

$2 billion
Sustainable funding
A subway that will go through the Provincial Finance Minister's riding

Categories: Transit, Politics, Toronto

For Pete's Sake

2007-03-19T19:48:00.000-04:00

During one of our smoke breaks, Peter told me he was surprised I hadn't posted about the announced funding for the extension of the Spadina Subway. (Which, for reasons obvious to Torontonians cannot be called the "Spadina Extension")

Let me introduce Peter: He is a colleague at work. The first time I met him, he was wearing a bandana - on his head - and sporting a Harvey's burger - at his desk. He de-punkified in quick order and ended up getting hired to do the same thing I was in my last role, which was in short moving mountains instead of counting boxes. He's actually really good at it. Ah, to be in my 20's again, that magical, pre-jaded era.

In any event, I owe Pete an answer. Which, if you haven't already you will soon read.

Categories: Friends, Transit

Friday Feast #133

2007-03-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
What does the color pink make you think of?
The 1980's comes to mind as does the name of an initiative at work. An initiative that caused me a good deal of grief. Until it was killed.
So the colour pink makes me think of an entity stuck 20 years ago, collapsing under the shear weight its own bureaucracy. The colour pink is in fact a paradox.

Soup
Name something you thought you had lost, but later found.
Thinking I've answered this question before, I took a look. Turns out the question was whether I lost anything important to me. So the dark side of me chuckles as I can safely say the answer doesn't apply here as well.
I thought I lost my mind.
I lost my patience
I thought I lost my virginity one time, but I really didn't due to a technicality.

Salad
In 3 words, describe this past week.
Bullshit then hibernation.

Main Course
What are you obsessed with?
What am I not obsessed with? Perfect example: If I update the blog, good bet it's a Feast.

Dessert
What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?
I've been wearing some Italian stuff, but not big on the scene.

Categories: Feast

Where's Willy?

2007-02-26T19:11:00.002-05:00

You may have in your travels come across a bill in your change telling you to track it at www.whereswilly.com

The very thing happened to me a few years ago, and I took the time to register. And then I forgot all about it. That is until I got a 20 with a handwritten plea to track it on the weekend. (I did, it's last known location was in Dorval)

Now, I do a lot of useless things online - including maintaining a blog - but this is something even I can't keep on top of. There are folks out there however who not only make the time to enter all their bills, but also use a rubber stamp on them so others will track the bill as well - resulting on a hit.

It's worth the surf just to watch the travels of our currency. And if you get a bill asking to be tracked, do the proper Canadian thing and register it.

Categories: Links

Friday Feast #132

2007-02-26T19:11:00.001-05:00

Appetizer
Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it?
The most noticeable is down my chest, and was caused by a scalpel.

Soup
What is something that has happened to you that you would consider a miracle?
A co-worker several years ago went through something that he considered a miracle. Both he and his wife worked for the store. Things were very tight that month, and they didn't know how they'd make rent. He is a proud man, and was very reluctant to ask the owner for an advance, even though we all knew the owner always obliged without questions.

So that night he prayed, and he looked to his Bible to give him the humility needed to ask for help. Something fell out. It was two cheques - by now stale - one for each as part of the annual vacation payout. He brought them in to work the next day, and the owner was pleased to make good on them that day.

The kicker to all this being, he put them in the Bible in the first place, as he prayed for guidance to spend the unexpected wealth wisely.

Me on the other hand, thought it was a miracle that I got out of bed on Sunday.

Salad
Name a television personality who really gets on your nerves.
Lately, and the first to come to mind is Tom Brown. The weather guy for CTV is described by them as having a "unique fun and exciting style." I just can't stand how bloody happy he is all the time. I figure the tea drinking crowd just loves him. My mother, for example. Actually, he wouldn't get on my nerves at all if I were watching him with Mom in the room. I have witnessed her many times in the past getting visibly pissed off over a hot snap, for example. So Tom and Mom would technically cancel each other out. White noise.

Main Course
What was a funny word you said as a child (such as "pasketti" for "spaghetti")?
By Toronto's standards, every word I said as a child was funny, given my now-faded Nova Scotia accent. It's funny - you can make fun of an Atlantic Canadian's accent, but it's taboo to do the same with an ethnic one.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have always thought ______ was ______.
Fill it in yourself.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #131

2007-02-19T19:10:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?
I worked in an office in which the phones only had one ring tone to choose from. As a result, if you were away from your desk, you could never tell if it was your phone that was ringing. I often said we should be able to program our phones. I wanted to reprogram my ringer to say, "Ian, your phone is ringing."

Soup
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
I'm generally overcast but leave others with the perception they're under a Tornado Watch.

Salad
What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?
It would probably be call centre planning, forecasting and scheduling.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?
I would read an encyclopedia. But only one day, eh? I could be really knowledgeable in things A-D in that time frame.

Dessert
If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?
Neilson used to make a chocolate bar called Treasures. It would be like that, and I would name it the same.
No sense in reinventing the wheel.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #130

2007-02-13T18:42:00.000-05:00

Appetizer -
Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
I have suffered nothing more than a very mild cold. The skin on my hands have gone to hell though, and nothing seems to be working.

Soup -
What colors dominate your closet?
Shoot, I don't know. I'm very balanced with my wardrobe these days. Let's say grey.

Salad -
How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
I never refer to things against my comfort zone. I'm not about to.

Main Course -
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
If I had to choose one - because I don't really want to be on any - probably Big Brother, 'cause they have air conditioning and you pretty much just sit around all day.

Dessert -
Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
Canada Day.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #129

2007-02-03T10:56:00.001-05:00

Appetizer
What was one of the fashion fads when you were a teenager?
I moved to da T-dot from a small town just in time for high school. As a result I was unable to keep up with the fads. The biggest thing to wear was a Roots sweatshirt. Or a Polo (as in striped oxford cut) shirt. I was must struck by the hair. If you were a guy, you likely had a mushroom haircut or a rat tail. Or both. Girls had some portion of their head shaved. Or just shitloads of hair. Despite my Sears Catalogue upbringing, I managed to get both shirts. My hair of course has never seen the price of a 'style.'

Soup
Name one thing you think people assume about you when they first meet you.
Gosh, I haven't thought about this. Although one common theme is they assume I'm an asshole.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how hard do you work?
I've been at about a 7, but I need to pull it into 10 the next few weeks.

Main Course
If you were given a free 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl to sell anything you currently own, what would you advertise?
Mookie. Duh.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I love to ________ when it is _________.
I love to sleep when it is raining.
Yeah, I know. I've been behind on my posts - you'd expect more effort on my part in filling out the blanks.

Categories: Feast

A chance to see Lower Bay Station

2007-01-31T19:22:00.000-05:00

If you're in the know, you know that Bay Station actually has two platform levels. The platform below the currently-used Bay Station was in use for only about six months after the Bloor-Danforth line opened in '66.

Every other train on the B-D line would go downtown via the University line at Bay. If that's where you were headed, this was a good thing. This routing meant both Bay and St George had four platforms serving three directions. The Eastbound train would alternate between the two levels at Bay, Westbound doing the same at St George. The routing also meant the entire system could feel the effects of a delay.

So its entrances were boarded up and Lower Bay became a station of neglect.
Much like Upper Bay. And the entire system. Non-revenue trains have continued to use the tracks ever since, primarily to switch lines and for crew training. It's other main purpose is to serve as a set (for a nominal fee) to a number of TV and movie productions.

So here we have a subway station that's been closed for 40 years and next to nil access. A magnet for infiltrators and a curiosity-inducer for urban explorers. As good fortune would have it, the tunnel between Bay and St George needs some repairs.

This means on weekends starting later this month this chunk of tunnel will be closed. If the plan goes as expected, both the East and West trains will terminate at Museum. Trains will get to and from Yonge/Bloor via - you got it, Lower Bay. It's not stopping at the station but still.

So unless you're a TTC employee, work for a production company or are an infiltrator this is likely your only chance to see the other half.

Check out Transit Toronto in my links for lots more about the TTC both past and present.

Categories: Transit, Urban, Exploration

Friday Feast #128

2007-01-29T19:33:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
If you could take lessons to learn any musical instrument, which would you want to learn?
I'm no good with anything to do with music. During our exploration of the Crystal Ballroom, my friend Bruce walked up to the piano - discarded in the middle of this huge space - and hammered out a few notes. I thought it was really cool and therefore I would like to learn to play the piano.

Soup
Have you ever mistaken a person for someone else?
Yes I have and I hate it. I therefore am never the first person to speak. Seriously, I recently mistook some stranger for another colleague at work. this of course is because they have similar features. Kind of related - have you ever had one of these conversations:
"Do you know so-an-so?"
"No."
"Oh, because you look just like him."

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
It depends on the context, so I won't give a rating. I surmise it's somewhere below average.

Main Course
What's the closest you've ever been to a dangerous animal?
Again, it depends on the context, and I have a dirty mind.

Dessert
When was the last time you lost your patience?
I'm a very level person, as anyone would tell you. When in the hell are these questions going to get interesting! Sheesh!

Categories: Feast

Today's Free Item

2007-01-29T19:07:00.000-05:00

I stopped for some groceries and lucked in today with a 2 litre PC Cola. I was planning on buying it (for I'm out of mix) anyway. I noticed the price portion or the shelf label had been ripped off other PC flavours, but not the Cola.

*Free item not exactly as illustrated

Sure enough, it scanned in at $.99 but had a shelf sticker of $.89.

This represents the smallest price difference and the cheapest free item. The interaction at the counter they call "customer service" was priceless, however.

Girl (In photolab shirt): Did you want customer service?
Me: Um, yes.
Girl: Sorry, I can't help you.
Me: What if I wanted to pick up pictures? Could you help me then?
Girl: Yes! Did you want to pick up pictures?
Me: No, I want customer service.

When someone who could help me showed up shortly after, I went through the same routine I always do. It started with "Are you sure you were overcharged? It was only 99 cents"

Come to think of it, that's pretty much where it ended as well, since she didn't say anything else to me.

I readily took my $1.13 given to me in cash, taking note of how it was made perfectly clear to me on a previous occasion refunds for debit transactions need to be on debit. I decide not to press my luck. I grab my stuff and bolt for the door.

On a related note, it appears Loblaws does read MLH. There were ample baskets at the entrance today. In a seven foot pile. It made me smile.

Categories: Retail

Friday Feast #127

2007-01-29T18:49:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Which television shows do you just refuse to miss?
I'm not a huge TV watcher - in fact, I couldn't tell you anything about any of the prime time dramas. I'm always sure to watch the Mercer Report and SNL.

Soup
Who did you last speak to on the telephone?
A co-worker on the other end of the floor. We were talking about who (which department) was supposed to pay an invoice. It was agreed she would pay it. Except I came to learn we already paid the stupid invoice, because we're so bloody efficient. Go team!

Salad
How many pillows do you keep on your bed?
Usually four, if you count the floor. I use two under my head, and one for huggage.

Main Course
Name one addition to your computer (software, hardware, etc.) that you’d love to have.
I'd love a new computer. I should look into that...

Dessert
What is your favorite foreign food?
I once referred to a boyfriend as that. Currently my fave foreign food is the Donair.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #126

2007-01-13T12:40:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
What comes to mind when you see the color orange?
The 1970s.

Soup
Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for?
I was a pretty good kid. I got in trouble once in grade 8 for getting in a fight with my friend. To teach us to get along, we both had to pick up acorns from the parking lot until the bus left.

Salad
Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza?
I'm into Pineapple and Ham these days.

Main Course
Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not?
UFOs do exist, and they're reported all the time. I don't belive they are from a different world, however. Just not identified. I simply haven't seen enough evidence to support the theory.

Dessert
What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt?
It's a light brown with black trim.

Categories: Feast

Halifax Nightlife

2007-01-08T18:59:00.000-05:00

Another entry originally drafted during my trip to the Fax.

I managed on the Friday before Christmas to get out and soak in the nightlife of Halifax. Now Haligonians are not a cosmopolitan lot. In fact, most would tell you Cosmopolitan is an ice cream flavour.

Halifax is there because that's where the harbour is. See, where there's a harbour there is always a navy and a good deal of shipping. So a bunch of people got together, called themselves Haligonians (because the were go'n to Halifax) and off they went. These Haligonians of course were Brewers, Bartenders and Hookers. This means the joint generally booms when there's war, and is pretty sucky in peace time. Its bars have historically held sailors still on their sea legs, clutching a shore pass - hoping to get a couple shots, a pint of Keith's, find a fight, and pick up some tail before their ship's horn blows.

Most holds true today.

For instance: I've been in town when some Marines hit shore on Tuesday night. The bars were hopping with handsome young men enjoying a few of something they weren't old enough to have back in South Carolina. Intermingled in the crowd of course were the girls that just happened to show up, as if it were a Saturday.

And then there are Halifags. They, as with the rest of the town have a rich Military Tradition.

I went through the Halifax Drinking Checklist while crossing the Harbour in the Ferry:

Know the bar before you start staring at people.
Halifax is on a hill. Choose a venue keeping this in mind. There's nothing worse than trying to crawl up a hill drunk.
Donairs are a seemingly good idea at 3 in the morning. Remember you will smell like a donair and stale beer in the morning.
The only place to get a cab after midnight is at the Casino. You'll save more time staggering there than trying to flag one down on the street.

I started my evening at Cheers in the Liquor Dome. Cheers is a place quite different than one on the show, just so you know. The crowd gets younger as the day progresses. She opens her doors for the day to the walker crowd, and is kicking the university crowd out at last call.

I arrived at nine. That's how old I am.

I had a grand time listening to conversation at the bar. One very nice and equally drunk regular bought me a pint of Keith's. What made it special for the holiday season was his friends convinced him it was time to go home immediately after, so I got to enjoy it in Peace.

The band finally started up. I love Halifax bands! I have no clue however what the name of this particular band is. They were all over the map in their set, from U2 to NS. And the lead singer was a hottie. Overall, an awesome set. As they took a break, I knew it was time for me to bounce, as it were.

For Cheers hit that time bubble where the generational shift begins in the crowd. As the younger patrons begin to stream in, the older crowd is getting to look like a bunch of freaks. It is their last call. The guys realise they only have one more chance to drop their date rape drug in some one's drink. The ladies order one more drink then go to the washroom.

Trying to shake the bone-chilling breeder display I just endured, off I went to the Cabaret.

Rejections is still the spot. It's been 10 years since I first set foot in there, and have probably been there less than 5 times before. The look never changes, and neither does the crowd. It still considers itself to have a mixed crowd, which it does. The straight component however is generally there to pick up drugs.

I was there early. The place doesn't gain momentum until Happy Hour, which runs 11-1. It's a frugal crowd, to be sure. I enjoy being there early so I can people-watch. Now, if you've ever seen Trailer Park Boys, you may be of the opinion that the crowd scenes are poorly acted.

As I scanned the few people there, a startling feeling came over me that I was dropped into the middle of a TPB episode. I began to realise - this could be the Toronto influence in me - that indeed, Halifax is poorly acted.

All I could do was get myself some $2.50 Keith's and enjoy the music. And then Paul cheers' me. I ask where he's from.
"Don't laugh," he pleads.
"I won't"
"Canning. The Valley."

I laugh, then quickly tell him I used to live in the Valley. Through the night, he will never ask and I will never reveal that I am from Toronto. I'm smitten with Valley guys. And I find myself with something to do while I'm enjoying my Keith's. I spend the rest of the evening enjoying brief encounters with Paul.

At some point well after Happy Hour, I asked Paul where he was staying.
"Across the street"
"At the hotel?"
"No in the parking lot, in my car. I'm going to nap before I drive back tomorrow."

It became obvious it was time to leave. And off I went into the night.

Well, I necked with Paul for a while and copped a couple really decent feels. Then I left after telling him I was going to the bar.

Halifax is like that. She will show you a good time, but will usually pull back at the last minute. Like many of her hookers.

Categories: Breeders, Clubs, Gay, People, Travel

Friday Feast #125

2007-01-08T18:37:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Which celebrity (or celebrities) do you think will make headlines this year?
I don't usually give two shits about celebrities, so I don't have an answer kicking around. I'm thinking that someone from the View will, since no one seems to be catching on those chicks are kicking up dirt for publicity. Plus we're due for a celebrity getting a BJ from some male trick in a wig. I'm thinking Tom Cruise at some Interstate rest stop.

Soup
They say that good things come in small packages? What is something little that you think is great?
LOL, I have to get my mind out of the gutter. Most great things that come in little packages are in fact illegal. I'll go with a tea bag.

Salad
Name a song that makes you want to dance.
I'm sorry, I don't spontaneously dance. Many things must be in play including the proper alignment of certain planets, to make me want to dance. So I can't narrow it down to a song.

Main Course
What is your favorite font?
Arial Rocks.

Dessert
If you were to write a do-it-yourself article, what would it be about?
I've been meaning to write one on how to stop procrastinating. Maybe I'll dust it off on the weekend.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #124

2007-01-08T18:14:00.000-05:00

I skipped #123 'cause I'm behind, and it's all about Christmas. Bah, humbug.

Appetizer
How do you usually celebrate on New Year's Eve?
I don't have a tradition and never plan for it. NYE just happens...although I don't recall the last time I was home for it. I brought in 007 at the haunt. To answer the question, I usually celebrate NYE drunk, and more likely to be in your lap than at home.

Soup
Name one thing unexpected that happened to you in 2006.
Getting my new job.

Salad
Where was your favorite place that you visited in 2006?
Halifax, of course.

Main Course
What resolution is your top priority for 2007?
As a rule, I don't make resolutions with the new year. Easter is a better timeframe for that, no? Why join a gym in January when patio weather is still 5 months away.
In any event, if something about you is a top priority for you to change, I suggest you don't wait till January to get off your arse and do something about it. Just a thought.

Dessert
Using just three words, describe 2006.
Pretty good year.

Categories: Feast

Welcome to Halifax

2006-12-25T18:36:00.000-05:00

Written on Thursday, I send this dispatch from the depths of Hell. Wait. That's not right. Halifax, that's it!

Dartmouth to be precise.

I lived in Dartmouth as a youngster and only started referring to Dartmouth as Halifax when I moved to Toronto simply to make it easier on those folk. Reason being Torontonians are too busy being self absorbed they think Newfies live in Halifax.

In fact, If you were to ask someone in Upper Canada to list the provinces from west to east, the response would be:

BC
Alberta
The Prairies
Ontario
Quebec
The Newfies

In any event, Halifax is a great town, and Dartmouth is across the harbour from it.

I have just returned from my walk. I took a longer one than usual as I have a new view.

Mom's swanky apartment is in a great hood - Sullivan's Pond. And within walking distance to Mic Mac. She sold her house earlier this year, located in a subdivision of identical houses in the outskirts of the city.

I took a tour of the pond and inspected the newly installed fountain. The pond of course is the result of a dam that was built as part of the Shubenacadie Canal. If you haven't heard of this canal before congrats to you for not having to endure the Nova Scotia school system. Also of note on the pond is a centennial flame, a totem pole and the gazebo, all surrounded by a couple hundred ducks.

The pond is quite picturesque, even in a snowless December. More picturesque is the view Alderney gate, so off I went to take in a view of Halifax. It takes a while to

become accustomed to the slower pace of life here. For example, I took a moment to reflect on the Tim's on the way. It was closed. It was an unusual and unnerving sight

for me.

I always take in the view of Halifax from Alderney Gate, which includes the Ferry Terminal and other municipal installations. The park and pier are at the old Dartmouth City Hall (which now serves as the HRM School Board). A perfect view of Downtown Halifax, the Old Bridge and whatever is parked in the outer harbour awaits. (On this particular night, two Oil Rigs and a
container ship). I see the last ferry to Halifax depart - with the standard complement of young guys on their way to the bars.

Now if you have ever stayed with Mom, you know it is a food marathon. Her goal I believe is to eat at every food establishment in the city.

It started as we left the airport yesterday. Our first stop was the Enfield Irving Big Stop, where a cheap and plentiful breakfast is served all day. Included for your toast is a choice of 6 kinds of jam! Dinner was at Fan's (formerly Fran's) at Shannon Plaza. Fan's specialises in food from Northern China, whose people apparently live off of deep fried

food. We go there every time I'm down, and it's consistently OK. You would recognise the plaza if you're a Trailer Park Boys fan - this is the place where Randy used to hustle, and where Julian ended up living in his car drunk out of his mind. (Season 4 episode 2)

Today was the big shopping day for Vic and I. We started of course at Mic Mac Mall, which is in fact my favourite mall. I used to hang out there all the time as a youngster, and immensely enjoy the selection of stores and service as compared to Toronto malls.

For example, at the Bay, the clerks at the cash make eye contact, use words like Hello, Please, Thank you. It's as if they're living the training manual. It's as if they think they are getting paid to provide service to customers - a formula that simply doesn't work in Toronto.

And it's not just the Bay, it's everywhere. The Sobey's, the Zellers, the Tim's (one of my large double-doubles came complete with a happy face on the lid). It's simply the way of life here.

So you know, Vic and I ate at one of my favourite spots - the Steak and Stein. The place is always busy and I find the food to always be good, although Mom tends to think it's going downhill. She's been saying that for five years. Their feature is the 3 ounce steak. I had three.

More to follow...

Categories: Travel

Where the Lowest Price is Anarchy

2006-12-19T16:02:00.000-05:00

Just came back from running some errands in preparation for the trip. I was after a couple shirts and PJ pants so I ended up at Zellers.

Now, Vic told me of a recent Zellers experience in which she purchased some chocolates from a massive display that were signed $1. They rang in at $1.09. She describes all the hoops she had to go through to get the refund here. I support anyone who even bothers to get a penny refunded. The $.09 isn't going to make or break Vic. But think about it. If Zellers managed to sell the entire display, they would have made around $36 in pure profit.

I was prepared. As you know, I have an eagle eye for making sure things ring up correctly. Zellers takes the fun out of the sport by making it easy.

Of the four items I purchased, one was marked regular price, and three were marked with a percentage discount. Two of the discounted items rang up at full price. Too small a sample size for sure to mention I was overcharged for half the items I purchased. The value of the overcharge you ask? $13.50. If I didn't notice, I would have paid 29% more.

So off I went to Customer Service, where the Customer is always a number. I was number 327. The clerk wasn't sure why I'd bother, since the cashier had corrected the error.

"You have entire displays of merchandise that you are overcharging for. The cashier didn't do anything about that."

The clerk didn't have an answer for me, but the manager was close by.

What Phil said:

We have thousands of items and it's hard to keep track of all of them.
Sorry.
We put the signs up early so customers could benefit.
I know this isn't the answer you would like to hear.

What Ian said:

The answer I was expecting to hear is that you would correct the prices or take down the signs. Appreciating the thousands of items you need to keep track of, I was good enought to point out two.

So, I called the head office to explain I wasn't happy with the outcome at the store and to confirm whether it is practice to put signs up, but not update the cash registers.

Their response was that Zellers tries hard to ensure their pricing is correct, but they are "not at 100%" (She wouldn't say what % they're at). Sometimes things are missed, particularly when there is a discount involved. Customers are invited to tell the cashier at point of sale if something rings too high.

To which I responded, "So, what I'm hearing is that it's Buyer Beware at Zellers"

No, she said. She would contact the store manager and ensure it's corrected.

OK, gentle readers. I've ranted about this before I know. You should be ranting as well. It is obviously going to happen that an item scans too high. Signs get missed after a sale, for example. It is purely unacceptable that the situation is not immediately taken care of. Neither is it acceptable to reduce prices before the cash register is updated.

In my retail days, my chain had easy-to-follow guidelines.

First off, a 2% error rate or better needed to be maintained. And error is scans too high, scans too low, or the product does not have a shelf sticker.
Second, signs go up once a sale starts, and come down after a sale ends.
Third, when the sign goes up, the item is scanned to ensure it was captured.
Fourth, when a large sale comes down, the price is checked again. All remaining sale items are audited to ensure they are still on sale.

So there you have it. A warning when shopping at Zellers, coupled with an inside scoop of how retailers can ensure price accuracy.

Categories: Retail, Rant

Nathan Phillips Square

2006-12-19T13:20:00.000-05:00

I was lucky enough to catch the Cavalcade of Lights at Nathan Phillips the other day. Basically, it's Nathan Phillips Square, but with thousands of lights.

Seriously, it was nice to see the projection display on Old City Hall. I enjoyed watching the dozens of people - from all corners of the city and world - skating under the arches.

If you get a chance, give this a look.

I snagged this photo from the Torontoist Flickr Pool. Metrix ' grabbed this shot. Be sure to check out his other work.

Categories: Toronto

It's Christmas already?

2006-12-19T12:57:00.000-05:00

I sit in disbelief.

It seemed like only last week I was sitting on the phone with my sister and mother negotiating my trip to Halifax for Christmas. I remember it well - my planned 4 day excursion became an 8 day marathon.

The marathon begins at some ungodly pre-dawn hour tomorrow. I am not prepared. Not for an early wake-up, not for a trip, and certainly not for Christmas. Is this something that can be postponed? Can we defer the birth of Christ until the new year?

I think I'm looking forward to the trip. It will be good to spend time with Mom and Vic. Not like Survivor, but definately like the Amazing Race, where the next destination is always a restaurant. Also, it will be nice to chill at Rejections Cabaret for a spell.

Vic's husband has to stay behind due to work. He has been appointed the official caregiver to Mookie.

Ah, Mookie. The poor thing is currently catching a nap in my bedroom closet, unaware of the impending abandonment. It has taken me over 3 years to train the shithead how to live with me. All will be lost in the space of a week. Is he ever going to be pissed!

So, wish me well. I shall try to keep in touch to provide updates.

Categories: Life, Mookie

I can't find a coffee shop

2006-12-17T11:00:00.000-05:00

Of little use to anyone, I present you with a Tim's and Starbucks store locator.

I'm not sure about your parts, but in Toronto, you can't swing a cat without hitting a coffee shop. It just seems more efficient to simply look for one than to ask someone where one is.

But that's just me.

I wait for a connecting bus to work in the morning at Bayview and Eglinton. About twice a year, I'm asked by a stranger where a coffee shop is. I can see four places in which to get coffee without turning my head.

"What kind do you want," is my reply.

It is actually fascinating to see how many Tims there are. At what point is the market saturated? I used their online Trip Planner (yes, they indeed have one, just like their commercial suggested). I planned a trip from here to central Montreal. Within a kilometre of my route are 52 Tim's. That's one evey 10 km.

And if you've travelled with me, you've likely been to every one of them.

Categories: Links

Fond Memories

2006-12-17T10:12:00.000-05:00

You may have heard that a Toronto landmark was a victim of a 5-alram fire this week.

Poor Sassafraz is no more. Where will those celebrities go to chill out now?

I have fond memories from the 'Fraz, as I liked to call it. Now let it be understood: I'm not one of those princessesses that hang out at places just to be cool. Far from it - I find that a little artificial. In fact, I'm the type of dude that hangs out at places that aren't cool.

At the last company I worked for a number of years ago I met a great bunch of friends. We have all moved on, but all manage to get together about once a year.

At one point, we had formed a Dinner Club. Once a month, we would go out to Dine. I won't speak for the rest of the flock, but I was generally drunk before the main course came. The club came to an end shortly after we suffered through an entire dinner listening to one of teh flock decree motions on who could, and could not be part of the Club.

So we stopped sending him the invite.

Back to the 'Fraz. One particular month it was chosen as the spot.

We were all on our best behaviour.

The waitress was an absoute eccentric. More so than an ass wiping wand. She in fact was over the top. I believe her accent to be fake. I am pretty sure she had an orgasm when she recited the specials of the evening. The older gentleman at the next table was absolutely apalled when the waitress took away his escort's special to show our table the wonderful presentation.

"Luke at ze vondervul preezentishun," said the waitress as quivered and twitched.

Should we be appalled as well? Is this the proper thing to do to fit in at this surreal eatery? But how can I act appalled when I'm laughing? So I did the best thing I could think of. I ordered the special. It was wonderfully presented, after all.

The absolute highlight of the evening came with the meals. One of our ladies had excused herself just before the main course came.

"I shall get ze leed for ze ladiz plate," said the waitress as she scurried off.

Emilia immediately looked intrigued.

Emilia: Wow, how classy. She's getting a leed for the plate.
Ian (Laughing): How classy are you by making fun of her fake accent.
Emilia: What?

At that moment the waitress returned with a metal lid, and put it on the plate.

Emilia had a baffled look on her face.

Ian: It's a lid, Emilia. A lid.
Emilia: Oh. I thought she was bringing something I've never heard of before.
All: Out of control laughter.

As you can imagine, I bring up this story during our annual reunion. It's on the play list with Effie's kidney stone, John's codeine addiction and the fact I had sex with Joe.

So farewell, 'Fraz. Thanks for the memories.

Categories: Friends, Toronto

Friday Feast #122

2006-12-15T16:25:00.000-05:00

Appetizer What was your very first job with a paycheck?
My first job with an actual cheque was working for BBM back in the mid-80s. My job was to call folks to do TV and Radio ratings surveys. The pay was decent ($5.50 an hour), and it was back in the days where you could smoke. I lasted there for a year.

Soup
Did you ever lose something really important to you?
The most important thing to me that I've lost is my father. See, I'm not always a material girl!

Salad
What is the best Christmas present you ever received?
Probably that kidney. Just kidding. I've been fortunate enough to receive some pretty decent gifts in my day. I think my favourite was the police scanner.

Main Course
Tell about a favorite "hang out" place for you and your friends when you were in high school.
I wasn't really into the hang out crowd in high school. I had just moved to Toronto in time for high school. I suppose we hung out the most at a donut shop.

Dessert
Name something that always brings a smile to your face.
Seeing people fall.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #121

2006-12-08T00:31:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Which language would you like to learn and why?
I was supposed to learn French well enough to get a job in Montreal and live with my boyfriend. So I still don't know French and I have no boyfriend. What sucks is, I can't learn it now 'cause then I'd start asking myself why I didn't do it before.

So, let's say Tagalog, for the reason provided above.

Soup
What's the funniest thing you've heard or read so far this week?
It would have to be my Annual Review.

Salad
Which movie was so bad you couldn't watch the whole thing?
I've walked out of a few. To be honest I can't remember any specifically. I believe I have written about movies that sucked in previous Feasts, so that will have to do.

Main Course
If there were a holiday in your honor that didn't use your actual name, what would the day be called?
Kettle Day, for obvious reasons.

Dessert
Name one movie which is coming out soon that you would like to see.
I can't even name a movie which is coming out soon. I can name a couple people who are, though.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #120

2006-12-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
I haven't, and have never had the desire. I have however been in a helicopter before. Can I get half points?

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
It's a slate grey with black. Go ahead and tell me about my personality based on that.

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
I'd say sex, but that's actually my favourite any day activity. Let's say playing Runescape.

Main Course
Describe your hands.
I have my father's hands. I don't like looking at them because they're starting to age.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut would you pick?
I eat more peanuts than any other nut, so it would make sense that I stick with that. Seeing that I can only eat one for the rest of my life, I shall choose a walnut.

Categories: Feast

Second Life / Get a Life

2006-11-30T21:38:00.000-05:00

As you know, I don't hide the fact that I am a Runescape enthusiast. For those interested, my online personae is Cancsis.

Of course, I put up with a certain amount of mocking, both direct and indirect for this diversion.

Get over it.

I'm sure by now you have seen the new latest craze, Second Life.

SL is a virtual world in which everything is run by the users. You can be a free member, roaming the streets, making your money (Lindon Dollars) by working odd jobs. If you become a premium member, you will receive a weekly stipend. You will also be able to buy land that you can ultimately build up.

So everything in this world is owned by someone. And it's open source allows members to build whatever they want. Anything that is built is your property in the real world.

A really difficult concept, eh? It's easiest to understand if you simply consider SL to be the real world.

I'll give you an example. I may determine there's a need for a product. Let's say, I don't know, hand baskets.

Using the online creation tool, I can build handbaskets. I can then sell them to the owner of the store, and make money. If I create a unique handbasket, it's mine. I can turn around and design it in the real world, and sell the design to a company for real money.

So on SL, I make my living selling something. Let's say I sell handbaskets for 20 Lindons (L$) each, and I sell a thousand of them. I now have 20,000L$. What do I do with that? Well, I can live on SL for one thing, consuming goods, buying land and things, partying, whatever.

I can also go to a currency exchange, such as LindeX, and sell my L$ for US$. The LindeX closed today at 269L$. If I sold my 20k L$, I would get $74.35 US. Conversely, if I needed additional L$, I could buy it with US$.

In short, there are people on this planet who are making a living exclusively from working within SL. There are companies in the real world, with employees, making their money on SL.

There are well over a million members in SL right now. While the vast majority are simply living a different, perhaps better life online, some are living a different, perhaps better life in the real world because of this.

I now must go find a way to get the idea of financial freedom out of my head before I go and quit my job.

Categories: Links, Runescape

All about the head

2006-11-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

In case you're wondering, this is supposed to cure headaches. They just aren't allowed to advertise it as a remedy.

The story behind this is a colleague was talking about it, but I never saw the ad so figured it was a figment of her imagination. I decided I'd post it here, to prove to others how quick I am to judge my colleagues and their ability to remain in the realm of reality.

Categories: Idiots

November Sucks

2006-11-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

I quite often hear from friends how much they dislike February because it's blah. Closer to Spring, but not close enough. I agree with them; I dislike February as well. What's with the extra R, anyway? And the extra day every so often?

Sorry February. As much as I dislike you, I reserve my loathing exclusively for November.

November is a shitty month. Ever shortening spans of daylight. The sun blocked by clouds for days on end. Feeble snow flurries. Brown grass. Mind you, we have had pretty good weather lately and even had a couple sunny days last week. <---This was difficult to write, as I don't like to associate positive comments with November. A few nice days isn't enough for me to forget about your black heart. It's kinda like how I think Paul Bernardo is hot.

For years now, I've pretty much shut down in November. I can never get enough sleep. I can't get out of bed. If I do get out of bed, I can't make it to work. So I can sleep all day.

I'm likely to break up with you in November. I'm likely to get sick. I have been known to go on drinking binges. Taco Bell, why don't you sell Soft Taco Supremes by the bucket? And Burger King, when are you going to open an outlet in the lobby of my building? And when are you going to start selling Poutine Whoppers?

It's become obvious to me I am a SAD sufferer. That's the last thing I need. More variability in my moods. So the obvious solution is to get as much light as possible. And that's what I've started to do. I've also started choking down some Omega 3 and Vitamin D. This seems to help as well.

I know the end of the funk is near. As Christmas approaches, I get out of the slump. Things look up on the first day of Winter, after all. We actually start to get more daylight.

In the meantime, I'm that guy wearing the taco-stained T shirt in line at Burger King.

Categories: Life

Can I have a basket please?

2006-11-24T20:04:00.000-05:00

This is what I wrote on an e-form to Loblaws, but didn't send:

I just returned from your location at 2877 Bayview Ave in North York.

I was annoyed to see, once again, there were no hand baskets at the entrance. Just a couple empty holders.

This is of course a silly thing to get annoyed over. Unfortunately this situation has started to get on my nerves as this is the fourth time in a row I have had to start my shopping "experience" by hunting down a basket - a convenience item for me, the customer, and a proven way to increase sales for you.

In fact, between this location and the SuperCentre at Don Mills and Eglinton, my chances are even that there will not be a basket available at the entrance.

So today, within the first minute of being in your store you managed to annoy me. This is the reason I'm taking the time out of my day to write to you about a basket.

Why didn't I send it, you ask?

Their bloody online web form doesn't work. It's probably too busy talking to the web form next to it about what movie it's going to see on the weekend to notice me there.

Categories: Retail, Rant

Friday Feast #119

2006-11-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
Yes, many years ago on my 10 speed.

Soup
Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
I have an innie that has served as a lint trap for the better part of two decades.

Salad
Name a new paint color and describe it.
Furball. It is grey with hues of Fancy Feast Brown.

Main Course
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
I've actually been moving away from traditions the last few years. I suppose my favourite tradition is to avoid doing traditional things during the holidays.

Dessert
If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
Probably a Lemon Snap, for obvious reasons.

Categories: Feast

Challenge Update

2006-11-17T21:20:00.000-05:00

The magical day is upon us.

You may recall I took the Summer Challenge. And the painful sacrifices I made.

My results have finally been announced. According to Toronto Hydro I managed to save 13.12% during the challenge period. Remember this isn't a true number due to their 'adjustment' to my consumption last year.

Including GST, I received a credit of $5.79 on my latest bill.

I am most impressed with my conservation through September and October - the only full billing period my efforts were in force. Even though I rescinded my stove ban, I managed to save a whopping 31% in consumption. I know I can save 10% month over month, even after turning on some things I unplugged for the challenge.

So, I'm sitting here eating crow. I'd be eating KFC if only $5.79 would stretch that far.

As you recall, I didn't think I had a hope of winning this challenge. It is estimated only 20% hit the target. So let me tell you this: It's easy to conserve, people. Take a minute to look around. Turn off something you're not using. Get a couple low-watt bulbs. Or turn them off and sit in the dark like the Tories.

And yes, I am allowed to look down my nose at you spoilt polluters.

I am now part of the elite of Hydro after all.

Categories: Conservation, Electricity

Friday Feast #118

2006-11-17T20:54:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Do you believe there is intelligent life on other planets?
The odd are there is. Some days it doesn't appear there is intelligent life on this planet.

Soup
What is one thing you said you'd never do, but you eventually did?
Perhaps the biggest is smoking.

Salad
Who is the teacher that influenced you the most in school?
Mr Dunkley, my grade 6 teacher. I really enjoyed the structure he gave the class. He inspired me to excel.
Meanwhile, in the other corner, Mr Field in high school is the teacher that had the most influence over me.

Main Course
If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be and why?
Hmmm...who would I want to be me? I mean, let's say I want to trade places with Chris Bosh. I'd spend the whole time worrying what he thinks of me after seeing my bathtub ring. Or me naked.

Dessert
What is your favorite dish to prepare?
I enjoy making lasagna. I also secretly enjoy making a holiday dinner.

Categories: Feast

Election Update

2006-11-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

Yawn.

CityNews on Monday evening - within thirty seconds of the polls closing - declared David Miller the winner of the Mayor's race.

I told you.

The price of admission was justified only a couple minutes later, when the Live Eye reporter told Jane Pitfield of their declaration.

The look on her face.

The reaction.

If only we could have four years of that. I think it would be funnier than Lastman.

Well, not likely.

So with some 57% of the vote on a modest platform, Miller spoke. Toronto seemingly became a better city than it was on Sunday. Miller referred to Her as a World Class City.

I haven't heard that from a Mayor since Lastman.

"Toronto needs sustainable funding," said Miller.

I haven't heard that from a Mayor since Miller. On Sunday. And countless times over the last three years.

And then unexpectedly Toronto became more of a bully. We are the centre of the universe, after all - although some days it's hard to see. We were not only reminded of this, but told to hold onto it. Even though Alberta is booming, Tim's is paying $14 and hour, and the Prime Minister resides there, just south of Redneckville.

So Bravo to Miller. After three years of getting nowhere with funding, after Lastman got nowhere, he sends a volley.

Give us sales tax, or Toronto will vote you out. Just one cent. And keep your jobs.

How much is that? Nearly half a billion dollars a year. Should the rest of Canada care? Yes and no. It's our money - Torontonians are taxpayers after all, so you should mind that we want to spend our money in our hood. If we get it money from, let's say the Feds, that opens the door for Halifax and Winnipeg and Redneckville to do the same.

Half a billion dollars. Just enough to cover the anticipated deficit Toronto will see next year. Only two thirds of what we pay after Provincial downloading.

Time for some math, people. Let's keep in mind Toronto's budget is over $7 billion. Bigger than most provinces. The Federal Surplus is $13 billion. Nearly twice Toronto's budget. Roughly ten percent of Canadians live in Toronto. Assuming Torontonians spend at the same rate as everyone else, it is very safe to say $1.3 billion of that surplus is Our money.

So the reaction?

Dalton McGinty said he'd really like to help, but his wallet is empty. Go to the feds, and please don't ask me anything about the downloading issue.

Stephen Harper hasn't said anything. He's from Leaside after all. And he's busy trying to lower the GST to 5%. We're not much of a threat to him - we didn't vote for him. Not one seat in Toronto is Blue. And he doesn't seem to currently be in need of a seat from us. So long as he doesn't piss of Quebec, we're not needed.

Harper sent the Minister of Transport to town. Lawrence Cannon came announced $40 million in national transit funding specifically to increase security. The TTC was of course expecting a good cut, being the largest transit authority in the country. Perhaps enough to install more cameras in the subway. Or new garbage cans to replace the shitty new ones, which replaced the excellent old ones, in the name of public safety in light of terrorism.

Instead, the TTC received what pretty much equals one day's cost to operate.

$1.5 million.

To Recap:

Miller said, "Give me some money or we'll send you home."
McGuinty said, "Fuck off and talk to Harper."
Harper said, "Fuck you, you never let me play."

So, are we doomed? Toronto has new taxation powers starting next year. Toronto will be able to tax beer and concert tickets. So we could always pay more tax and forget about the tax we don't see.

In all, Miller's speech left me finally feeling good about the city and what it could be. Now I feel dread - only 24 hours into it, what could be is lost until the next election.

I hope the monentum has just begun. Toronto simply won't last another four years otherwise.

Categories: Politics, Toronto, Transit

Remembrance Day

2006-11-11T11:52:00.000-05:00

You may have heard in the news that only 42% of Canadians passed a Domininon Institue WWI knowlege quiz.

I present to you the quiz:

1) Captain John McCrae served as a medical officer in the First World War and wrote what is considered to be Canada's most famous poem. What is the name of the poem?

2) Canada has produced a number of outstanding military heroes. Identify the two famous Canadians from the following list:

Air Marshal "Billy" Bishop
General Douglas MacArthur
Sir Arthur Currie
General Ulysses Grant

3) Canada's most famous single victory in the First World War consisted of the capture of a key ridge on the Western Front. What was this battle called?

4) In the past century, women took on new roles in the work force to support Canada's war efforts. Which war prompted the Canadian government to give women the right to vote in federal elections?

Looking for the answers? Get off you ass and look them up!

The fact of the matter is, I passed. I certainly couldn't write an essay answer to these questions.

So that got me thinking I really should review Canadian History. It has been over 20 years since I studied it, after all. And I did a half-assed effort at doing so.

Rats - If only there were Canadian history books around. If only there was a gift-giving holiday coming up.

For more questions from the Dominion Institue, take the quiz. You can win a music download if you get a perfect score.

Categories: Canada

Friday Feast #68

2006-11-10T18:27:00.000-05:00

I present to you another repeat from last year:

Appetizer
What was the last game you purchased?
I suppose a PS2 game for my mother. Yes, Mom has a PS2. Got a problem with that?

Soup
Name something in which you don't believe.
Horoscopes or anything of the sort.

Salad
If you could choose a television personality to be your boss, who would you pick?
And I would be doing this because why? See, this question makes no sense. I have to pick an actor, then somehow figure out which one should be my boss? But they're all actors. Hmmm... If I was asked to pick a character, the question would be a little less retarted. And I would answer Arthur Carlson

Main Course
What was a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
One who allows himself to be controlled by the notion of being in love will ultimately find love that is hollow.

Dessert
Describe your idea of the perfect relaxation room.
Any room with lube and a towel.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #67

2006-11-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

The Friday's Feast person is on vacation. I have selected a Feast from one year ago:

Appetizer
Do you button shirts top-to-bottom or bottom-to-top?
I button from bottom-to-top. It took me most of my life to realise this is the best way of ensuring I don't mis-button, which I'm sure you'll agree is a royal pain in the ass.

Soup
What is your favorite sandwich?
This is tricky. Montreal smoked meat, medium.

Salad
What was a family project you helped work on as a child?
Mom's heroin addiction.

Main Course
When have you acted phony?
I hate acting phony! I reserve that for work and funerals. The last time was yesterday at work, meeting with a colleague who was lying through his teeth.

Dessert
Do you write letters or postcards? If so, to whom?
The only person I write letters to - and she'll tell you not often enough - is Mom. Who incidently has never been on heroin.

Categories: Feast

Election Update

2006-11-01T19:30:00.000-05:00

Things are starting to heat up in the Municipal Election.

Well, not really.

In any event with a little less than two weeks to go, I certainly hope you have been studying the issues and the candidates. If not, here's a rundown:

First the issues.

There aren't any.

Seriously - Crime, Transit and Garbage are the major issues. Yes, I said garbage. Beats out Taxes and Poverty according to this Poll. The fact of the matter is, crime is down after the Summer of the Gun, and we haven't seen a garbage strike since Mayor Mel. Transit seems to be rising to the top of the heap of issues.

Now the Candidates.

There are three that matter to the media, and another 35 or so on the ballot.

David Miller: Running for second term. Miller isn't carrying a broom this election, but continues his Clean City Beautiful City theme, promising $100k per ward for beautification. On crime, he speaks of what he's done the first term. More cops on the street and so on. Miller has a comprehensive transit plan, that is heavy on Busways and Streetcar right-of-ways. Plus the Spadina subway extension. Miller seems to understand transit priorities, but unfortunately has shown little movement on the issue his last term. He is going to win, by the way. Thirty percent are committed voters according to a recent poll.

Jane Pitfield: Poor Jane. An early candidate, Jane spent most of her early days saying how bad Miller is. It's hard to understand what her platform is. For example, she currently supports growth at the Island Airport. She voted against the fixed link to it however. Jane is currently against the St Clair Streetcar right-of-way. Her voting record was in support of it during last term. Jane says Miller spends tax dollars recklessly, but was on the budget committee for two budgets, and supported both. She is opposed to the recent purchase of the landfill near London, which she voted to buy - presumably due to "human error." She wants to outlaw panhandlers. And she wants to build 2 km of subway every year, and enter into 'private/public' partnerships for transit . She likes the Guardian Angels and cameras in public spaces. And 6% are definitely voting for her.

Stephen LeDrew: A late-comer to the campaign, LeDrew started as simply anti-Miller. He said he will throw his support behind Pitfield near election day if he's still in third. (More recently, he said he will throw his support behind Miller). Not much going on with him. Miller has done nothing his last term, but everything he's done LeDrew is opposed to. On Transit, LeDrew will kill the St Clair ROW, and will build subways. By the way - one minor thing you should know. LeDrew declared bankruptcy leaving behind a over $350k of tax debt. (The courts have ordered him to pay 74% of it). No one in the poll is planning on voting for him.

This obviously is a very high-level summary of where we stand. Since most Torontonians simply aren't paying attention, this is likely all you'll need if you do decide to get off your ass and vote.

Perhaps whoever does win (and it will be Miller) will make such a mess of things the 2010 election will actually be interesting.

Categories: Politics

Happy Hallowe'en

2006-10-31T22:20:00.000-05:00

Categories: Runescape

Where are the entries?

2006-10-30T20:06:00.000-05:00

I wanted to give my gentle readers an update regarding the lack of updates.

I've created a lot of entries, and have ended up saving them to drafts. Had one about the snow in Buffalo, Thanksgiving, my birthday, the election, and what this time of year means to me.

I have presently determined that they are all very boring. Perhaps when my mood lifts, I'll publish them. In the meantime, you're stuck with the Feast.

Categories: Mookie

Friday Feast #117

2006-10-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Create a new candle scent.
I guess I'm really lame today. I could have a lot of immature fun with this, but not today. Let's go with Beef Ravioli Surprise

Soup
Name one way you show affection to others.
Affection. Yeah, right. I guess one way is the way I look deeply into one's eyes.

Salad
What is your favorite writing instrument?
It would appear the only thing worse than answering these is actually writing them. I don't have a pet pen or anything of the sort, but I do like fine ball-point pens.

Main Course
If you were given $25 to spend anywhere online, from which site would you buy?
$25? I'd throw it into my Runescape Membership.

Dessert
Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what are you going to be?
I haven't been in the mood the last few years to dress up. I can't wait for the "Nice costume" comments.

Categories: Feast

Government Websites

2006-10-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

I surfed over to the Government of Canada website the other day (I linked to it in a previous Feast) and was quite surprised by what I saw. There has been a transformation - and not a good one. It has become more an advertisement of what the government is doing for us than a dry website one suffers through to order tax forms. And what's with all the Blue hues? It looks like the Conservative website. Hmmm...

My purpose of going there was to find the lyrics to O Canada! I dare you to try and find the link to information on Canada on the site. The link is there, just impossible to find. Perhaps people don't go to the Canada website to find out about Canada. Perhaps they go there to see what their government is doing.

I don't know.

I share with you a comparison of government websites, in which I researched the voting age. I used my own intuition to follow links, without using a search function.

On the Canada Website, it took 18 clicks to find this: "In 1970, a newly revised Canada Elections Act lowered the voting age and the minimum age to be a candidate from 21 years to 18."

United States - a sharp portal without government advertising. You can find that at the White House site. Eleven clicks, including one dead link got me this off a kids page: "Any citizen of the United States over the age of 18, and who meets certain state requirements, may vote in Federal elections"

United Kingdom - this portal looks like it shouldn't have survived Y2K. It is as easy to find info as it is bland. No advertising here, either. Four clicks for this: "To vote in parliamentary elections in the UK you must be a British citizen, a citizen of another Commonwealth country or of the Irish Republic, as well as being resident in the UK, aged 18 or over, included in the register of electors for the constituency and not subject to any legal incapacity to vote."

Australia - Another sharp, information and services only site. In 6 clicks I found this: "Yes, voting is compulsory for every Australian citizen aged 18 years or older. If you do not vote and do not have a valid and sufficient reason for failing to vote, a penalty is imposed."

Take from all of this what you will - I mean other than pondering the amount of idle time I appear to have. At the end of the day, this seems to be a Canadian thing that Canadians have decided to put up with. Just you wait until it's 47 clicks to order your tax forms.

I noticed the Ontario website went this way some time ago. Interestingly enough, it still has not been updated with the new Trillium Logo that caused some flapping earlier this year. It looks like the Trillium on the Ontario Liberal Logo some say. Three in a hot tub, others muse. Who gives a shit? even more say. There's even a website to save the old logo. Too bad that's brought to you by the Ontario PCs.

Categories: Canada, Politics, Links

Friday Feast #116

2006-10-20T12:41:00.001-04:00

Appetizer
What is your favorite beverage?
Non-alcoholic is coffee. Of course, I am addicted much to the glee of Tim's, so that's probably why it's my favourite.
Alcoholic is Beer. I'm not addicted to beer - although some may argue differently. It's just yummy.

Soup
Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.
Keyboard.
Monitor.
Mouse.

What were you expecting to list? My shrine to Andy Gibb?

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?
I'm a strong 9 with rare moments of 7.

Main Course
If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?
I would re-rename Kitchener Berlin. Just to bring it back to its roots. And to piss off the War Hero historians. The only way to get a rise out of a historian is to change history.

Dessert
What stresses you out? What calms you down?
I suppose Work has always been the greatest stress for me. There are various things that calm me down...it depends on the level of stress and availability of a partner.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #115

2006-10-13T20:18:00.000-04:00

Appetizer Approximately how many hours per week do you spend reading other blogs?
Depends on the week. Usually 3-5. I've gotten lost in blogs for entire evenings from time to time. I've found none that compare to mine, however.

Soup
Your community wants everyone to give one thing to put into a time capsule. What item would you choose to include?
Mookie.

Salad
What is the most interesting tourist attraction you've ever visited?
Amazing how easy it is to remember the lame ones. Since I was a wee little tot, I've always enjoyed my visits to Port-Royal Habitation. This link provides a walking tour; the photo belongs to Parks Canada.

Main Course
If you could give an award to anyone for anything, who would it be and what would the award be titled?
The Asshole of the Year Award will be bestowed upon one of a list of hundreds. It's not too late to add yourself the the nomination list, gentle reader. You likely qualify.

Dessert
What do you think your favorite color reveals about your personality?
I think it reveals how cynical I am of attempts to read people based on what their preferences are. Or even worse, what sign they are. You may ask me my favourite colour (I believe I answered that on one of these feasts). You may not ask me what my sign is, because that's stupid.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #114

2006-10-06T19:50:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
Name a song you know by heart.
See, I can't sing so it's harder for me to remember song lyrics than the tone-hearing - who of course, sing more often than I do. Some gentle readers may say I sing more often than I should.

They would be right.

To answer the question I know O Canada! by heart as we had to sing it every morning in school.

Soup
What will you absolutely not do in front of another person?
What a minefield this question is... Obviously I can't answer with anything I have done in front of someone else.

I'm pretty much left with picking my nose.

Salad
How often do you use mouthwash and what kind do you like?
Daily and Listerine.

Main Course
Finish this sentence: I am embarrassed when...
I think of things from the past.

Dessert
What was the last food you craved?
Kraft Dinner. How ridiculous is that!

Yet again, a bland, lame feast. Just pretend you're at Medieval Times.

Categories: Feast

Sounds of the City

2006-10-02T19:18:00.000-04:00

Easbound Blue Night bus. Bloor at Keele October 1, 04:40

Bus Operator: Sir, Sir
Ian (in a drunken slur): Yes?
BO: Did you just show me a September MetroPass?
Ian: Yes, I did.
BO: You know it's October, eh?
Ian: Yes I do.
BO: Well?
Ian: It's not 5 o'clock yet.
BO: But it's October.
Ian: What's the date on your transfers?
BO: OK, you got me there.

I just love bus drivers that make fun of the drunk.

Categories: Heard

The House Warming

2006-10-02T18:51:00.000-04:00

As you may know, Gillian and Marcos now co-habitate. This was their excuse for a party on Saturday. I saw right through it and in typical style did not bring anything.

Sean of course confirmed with me during the week that I was going (after the Wonderland incident, he now knows I don't remember plans I've made).

The conversation was kinda like this:

Sean: Are you coming?
Ian: Can I just sit there all night and get drunk?
Sean: That's my plan.
Ian: Count me in.

So off we went to High Park.

I haven't seen G since the start of the summer....only a couple times after Sean's party. I saw M one more time than that. They both seemingly fell off the earth (explaining why their blogs got so lame all of a sudden). So it was wonderful seeing them!

Now, I knew exactly three people at this shin-dig. I'm not big into parties where I don't know anyone.

I've been dragged to a few parties by my friends where I didn't even know the host. Hell, I even dragged a guy on a date to a party where I didn't know the host. He gave me pitty sex afterwards, so I suppose it was worth it.

I was pleasantly surprised and happy to report that G and M have a cool flock of friends. They're friendly. They've known each other for a while but are not completely inclusive, if that makes sense.

And every last one of them was good looking. Truth be told, some were actually hideous until I got drunk - and then they become sexy. Must have been the 2-4 Sean and I killed.

Sean went in (we spent most of the evening on the sidewalk in front of the house) to take a pee. M reported that she in fact went to bed to pass out.

It's all good - I know he can't outlast me. I just wish he decided to crash before he drank the last beer. But in a small way it balanced out because I went into the bedroom and bothered him. He surely doesn't remember. I however thought it was a riot.

A party is over when one of three things happens:

There is no more alcohol
The host is having a drunken fight with someone else
You are asked if you want to crash

As much as I was wanting to see a spectacular tiff between M and G, it wasn't meant to be. Number 1 already happened, number 3 just occurred.

Off into the cruel world I went.

It was after 4 am, after all.

Categories: Friends, Party

Friday Feast #113

2006-09-29T20:35:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
What is your favorite herb or spice?
Cloves. I love the smell!

Soup
Name a song you like but haven't heard in a long time.
Radio Gaga by Queen

Salad
If you were to take just one minute to write down as many things as you can think of that you need (not want) to do, approximately how many things would there be?
I'm sure I can muster up 20 things.

Main Course
Tell something interesting about one of your family members (nothing scandalous, please, just something unique).
Read below about my Sis.

Dessert
What's the latest you've ever stayed awake?
By this I suppose one means longest. I believe it was 32 hours. It's rare that I'm up all night these days!

Categories: Feast

Apology to Non-Christians

2006-09-26T19:30:00.000-04:00

After some pondering, I decided to take my sister Victoria's lead. As she did, I would like to apologise for linking to her blog. It may offend your non-religious sensibilities.

Sis found the Big J as it were, and never looked back. I on the other hand don't even know where to look. For me, it's kinda like a lost sock - it could be under the bed, but it's just too much effort to bend down and confirm.

Sis and I in some ways are very similar. I feel I meander through life. I've just been chilling for the last decade or so. It could be said by me Sis was going through a virtual routine as well. And then came a defining moment in her life in which everything made sense. So in a seemingly senseless manner, she quit her career and went to school.

In the short time since I've seen a lot of change in her. It's hard to explain - she's become more of the person I thought she was. She definitely doesn't nag me as much. I think she just prays for me instead. She makes me proud.

In her blog she contemplates one aspect of her new life after linking her gentle audience over to this hell-in-a-handbasket place. Why they'd be offended by rooster jewelry I don't know. So I started contemplating her contemplation, when I came across this post in Kelly's blog.

And I think that sums the whole thing up.

Bottom line: I don't write anything on this blog to offend. If you were offended with anything you read on my sister's blog, fuck off.

incidentally, I came across this, just in time for the season.

Categories: Life, Links

Friday Feast #112

2006-09-22T19:04:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
Measured in minutes or hours, how much exercise have you had in the last week?
You hit me on a good week. I walked around for hours last Saturday at Wonderland. I'm afraid I'm a rather lazy person. The most exercise I ususally get is lifting the beer glass. I suppose one tick on the 'good' side of being in a relationship is the regular sex work-out.

Soup
If you had to change your blog title to something else, what would it be?
Mookie's Dead.

Salad
Name one television show you watched when you were 9-12 years old.
Why only one? Let's go with 'Fantasy Island' as it's the first to come to mind.
My favourite was likely 'WKRP'
Mr. Carlson: As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Main Course
If someone gave you $50 to spend with the one condition that it had to be educational, what would you purchase?
An Atlas. That would be cool.

Dessert
Do you tend to prefer dark colors, neutral shades, or lighter/pastel hues?
If you now me you'll know I'm into dark colours.

Categories: Feast

Canada's Wonderland

2006-09-17T13:20:00.000-04:00

***I've been saving this in my drafts 'cause it's just not the way I want it. I am not perfect, gentle reader.

Sean and I try to go to Canada's Wonderland once a year. I actually look forward to the trips because I've only been there a handful of times, my first time about 10 years ago. We actually managed this Saturday! Of course, I forgot to buy the tickets on account I forgot we were going. Work has been busy, people! We managed to quickly get things back on track.

The whole Amusement Park concept intrigues me. One pays admission to spend most of the day lining up. When one needs a break from the line-ups, nothing satisfies more than a $7 burger and fries that were made it would appear at some point in the off-season. Just the whole 'theme' thing rattles my common sense. It's all very surreal. To that end, the walk in the parking lot certainly didn't help things...

Those who know me know I'm not a big fan of children. I have come to realise in a park setting, children are actually fun to watch. Except when they're crying because they're spoilt. Teenagers however are a menace to my adult sensibilities. As they were when I was a teenager.

I am a supporter of the concept of Adult Only days at all attractions, including the zoo, the science centre, museums and hell, why not shopping malls? Canada's Wonderland has come close - when they used to host Gay Days.

But I digress.

Sean and I were quite surprised to see how busy it was. Lots of families, and a bigger proportion of teens than my last outings. It actually started busy, and just got busier. We were unphased, for we enjoyed strolling and sitting and people watching. It was a very laid back outing.

"Hey, do you want to go hang out in a line?"

One of my favourite past times is people watching. That in itself is worth the price of admission! My new favourite thing is to go to Kidzville and watch all the yummy daddies suffering through the day. They're so vulnerable. Sean is good to remind me that I really should learn the art of subtlely.

And how!

Lineups are my favourite. Take The Bat, for example. By the time you are at the front of the line, you will have passed by the same people about 8 times. So every time the line moves, you get to re-check out the same people.

Sean is a good sport to put up with me. All he really heard from me all day was:

"That's hot."
"He's cute."
"Yummy."
"Where's a green umbrella? I want a smoke."

But it's give and take with us. All I heard all day was, "Dude, I'm not standing on the Go bus when we leave."

Check here for visuals.

Categories: Breeders, Space

Conservation Update

2006-09-17T12:26:00.000-04:00

I wanted to provide a response to the query I submitted to Toronto Hydro:

Congratulations on successfully reducing your consumption this summer and we wish you every success in meeting our Summer Challenge.

Thank you very much for your helpful feedback regarding our conservation tips and programs; we appreciate every opportunity to improve the services that we offer and we have forwarded your suggestions to our web design team.

Should you have further comments or require assistance, please do not hesitate to contact our office at (416) 542-8000. We remain ready to help you in any way that we can.

Sincerely,

Sandra

I am eagerly awaiting my Hydro Bill, where I'll get my credit if I was indeed successful. I will be sure to let you know the results!

Categories: Conservation

Friday Feast #111

2006-09-16T00:02:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
What was the very last song you listened to?
You know, I'm afraid I couldn't tell you. I know you surf over here to find out meaningless facts about me. You're out of luck this time.

Soup
What is one company/store/corporation you would recommend that people stay away from?
I have to narrow it down to one? Hmmm...Let's go with Rogers Wireless.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy having your picture made?
A strong 4. Take it if you want, but don't expect me to ask you to.

Main Course
Besides a bookmark, what is something you've used to keep your place in a book?
There's a regular on my morning bus that outfits himself with a pencil. When the bus approaches his stop, he pulls it out and draws a line where he finished reading, then uses his pencil as a bookmark.
I've been known to use a Metropass and/or transfer, or the receipt from the purchase of the book. I more often than not will use my memory to bookmark.

Dessert
Name a food that you like that most people don't.
I'm a pretty bland eater, so nothing comes to mind. The only thing that comes to mind can't really be referred to as food, but it's high in protein.

Categories: Feast

Friday Feast #110

2006-09-08T19:52:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you are wearing today.
Jeans, a blue shirt and of course my copper cock ring.

Soup
Who was the last person you hugged?
It was actually Sean last weekend.

Salad
What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?
My favourite is a Whopper and Poutine. I've been a very good boy for nearly a year and cut my consumption by an impressive 85%. The stuff can kill you, people.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
Usually around 1900 or 2000. Unless I'm already passed out drunk.

Dessert
Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)
Intentions Are Negotiable.

Categories: Feast

Conservation Update

2006-09-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

Been a while since I've provided an update.

Not much to report here.

I'm used to the measures that I have taken. I'm also looking forward to going back to my old ways after I get my $6.

I went to Toronto Hydro's website this evening. To report a streetlight outage - because I'm one of those geeks that keeps the city safe.

I stumbled upon conservation tips for apartment people.

A couple examples of what I read:

Temperature Settings: A temperature of 38°F to 40°F is generally recommended for refrigerators and 0°F for freezers. Follow the manufacturer's instructions, but check these settings by placing a thermometer in both sections.

Burner Tips: If you have a gas range, make sure the flame is blue and cone shaped by keeping the burner clean and unclogged. You can use a piece of wire or pipe cleaner to unclog burner ports. If cleaning doesn't help, call your apartment superintendent or appliance service representative. Keep burner reflectors shiny and they will reflect more heat.

As a result, being the prick that I am, I left the following feedback:

As an apartment dweller, I have taken several steps to reduce my energy consumption with a hopes of meeting the Summer Challenge and thereby saving an estimated $6.

I appreciate the tips you provide on your website. There are however some things I don't understand.

For example, Fahrenheit. And how maintaining my gas stove will help me save power.

Spending a little to ensure your content matches your market I'm sure is a good conservation measure.

Perhaps your expense in just having 20 similar comments read equals what it would have cost to have a couple eyes on your content.

Not that I don't believe you add value to THC, gentle reader.

Categories: Conservation, Electricity

It's Up To You

2006-09-05T21:27:00.000-04:00

Or so says Toronto's official Election Website.

We're beyond Labour Day so it's time for me to focus on the Municipal Election.

As geeky as that sounds.

November 13th of course is the date where we get to exercise our right in this great democracy. A mighty 38ish percent of us will actually get off our asses and vote.

If you plan to vote, please do me the favour and make an educated decision. We are talking about the people who make decisions on things that impact us daily - such as sewers and transit and whether to call in the military when there's a snowstorm.

So take the time to look at what the issues are, and what pissed you off at some point over the last three years. Megabins anyone?

One of my leading resources will be Spacing. Check out what they have planned to help me along the way. Perhaps they can help you too.

Just remember people, if you don't vote, you will nullify your ability to bitch about anything municipal for the next four years.

Categories: Toronto, Politics, Space

Friday Feast #109

2006-09-01T00:07:00.000-04:00

Appetizer
What are some lyrics you have misheard (such as, instead of "Gettin' Jiggy With It" you heard "Kick a chicken with it")?
I have no clue. My friends are of class, and would never correct me on such things.

Soup
What is the worst movie you have ever seen?
The one that comes to mind is Against a Crooked Sky. Saw it in its first release when I was five and was bored. Endured it at least one other time in school - our Christmas vacation gift. Shitty school.
Worst adaptation of a book has to go to Bonfire of the Vanities. Back in the early 90s my best friend and I would see two movies every Saturday. He was intensly into film. He insisted on silence, and sitting until the last credit rolled. He handed me the book and told me I had two weeks to read it before the film came out. It was an excellent read.
About halfway through the movie, my buddy called out, "This is dreck!" To which the audience applauded. In fact, about a third had walked out before the end.

Salad
Using the letters from your favorite number, write a sentence. Example: Tomorrow has really easy experiences.
My favourite number is 13882954. That would be a mega run-one sentence.

Main Course
What was the most interesting news story you have heard this week?
The anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. The fact that it is old news (not much seems to have happened in the last year) makes it newsworthy in itself.

Dessert
Which word(s) would you choose to describe your wardrobe?
Clothes.

Categories: Feast

Bug Me Not

2006-08-29T21:45:00.000-04:00

I came about this site a while back now, and am thankful that I did.

Many news websites a visit require an account in order to read articles. How spamalicious is that?

I'm not into registering my email all over the place to gain access to sites. Well, I am actually...but I'm already juggling real, semi-real, online-real and porn e-mail addys. No room for a news one as well. Especially when all I'll get out of it is a good read about how someone describes thunder as sounding like a bomb went off.

There was a point in time when TheStar.com started with using accounts. It seems they caught on - it's no longer compulsary. Perhaps in part to bugmenot.

Categories: Links

It Sounded Like a Bomb Went Off

2006-08-29T19:55:00.000-04:00

This my friends is my all-time favourite eye witness quote.

It must have been 15 years ago when I first came upon it in the Star. The story was about some poor soul who decided to jump off the roof of the Eaton Centre's Queen Street Tower. He ended up crashing through the glass gallery and into the Second Cup on the top retail floor.

I present to you highlights of today's Yahoo News Search:

Air Force dispatchers struck by lightning over phone lines August 26Teresa Cummings says she was taking a 911 call around 5 p.m. Thursday when she heard a boom.
“When it first hit, it sounded like a bomb went off,” she said.

Lightning strikes Sherwood house twice July 27
“I didn’t know if it had hit my house, but it sounded like a bomb went off,” said neighbor Charline Meadows, who lives at nearby on Devon.

LR man found guilty in murder, robbery August 3
Evans, 21, admitted she and Dobbins hoped to buy cocaine from Herrod when they met him outside Legend’s Sports Bar at 9700 N. Rodney Parham Road about 4:30 a.m. March 2. Herrod got in the back seat of her car and directed the couple to the Topaz Court cul-de-sac, where Herrod shot Dobbins in the back of the head without warning, Evans told jurors. “I just heard a big bang. It sounded like a bomb went off,” she said. “Cody just fell back.”

Clark resident among plane crash victims August 28
Winchester Sun employee Laverne Fain lives in Lexington at 1927 Dunkirk Drive, off Versailles Road. Her husband was sitting on the front porch when the plane exploded.
"He said it sounded like a bomb went off," said Laverne

Racing has pull on Purvis, but maybe he'll walk away August 20
Purvis was riding in the hauler with his wife Margo, 15-year-old son Clay, and crewmen Matt and Rocky Angel and Ben Britt when the hauler's left-front tire suddenly exploded.
"It sounded like a bomb went off," Purvis said. "I knew instantly we were in trouble."

And my personal favourite of the lot:

Police: Teens Detonated Pipe Bombs In Two States August 21
Police said the teens left almost a dozen bombs in South Royalton, Vt., and Lebanon, Canaan and Enfield, N.H., over the course of four days. Elizabeth Smith of Enfield said her home shook on Friday night as one of the explosives detonated. "It sounded like a bomb went off. We didn't know what had happened," said Smith.

Hmmm...a bomb going off sounded like a bomb going off.

Now that's funny.

Categories: Idiots

The First Impression

2006-08-29T19:42:00.000-04:00

As they say, you only get one chance to make a good first impression.

To the new residents of apartment 604:

Moving in at 1:00 this morning wasn't the best utilization of that precious one chance.

Especially when you are apparently moving in drunk elephants.

And I don't know what fashion of glass you managed to smash at 1:50. All I know is it sounded like a bomb went off.

Mookie was most unimpressed.

Categories: Neighbourhood, Mookie